Archive for May, 2009

Misguided Travel Guides: The Grand Canyon

From the way everyone talks about the Grand Canyon, I was expecting some deeply moving, life-changing experience. Which, of course, is always the first mistake. Instead I could never quite shake the sensation that I was at Disney world. True, there was much less waiting in line and touristy souvenirs to waste money on (at the actual park, anyway; the Denny’s we stopped at for lunch 30 miles away had a gift shop with “Grand Canyon” hats and snow globes). But the hordes of people, the system of shuttles and the countless colorful displays showing different parts of the canyon and cajoling passers to “Choose Your Grand Canyon Experience!” just seemed too commercialized, too fake. The canyon itself is, of course, huge and gorgeous–so big that it’s almost hard to believe it’s not a painted backdrop or a special effect off in the distance, which only added to the sensation of being in some kind of corporate-constructed microcosm. Naturally being surrounded by thousands of people trying to photograph themselves with the canyon at every angle didn’t help. Or the hundreds of people making exactly the same kinds of home videos, just in a variety of different languages: “Look! It’s me at the Grand Canyon!”

In conclusion, the Grand Canyon was probably a great experience once. I think I would have been overwhelmed if I could have seen it alone, so vast and silent. But being surrounded by tourists pretty much dampened any great emotions I may have had. So, not wanting to add to the problem, I took no pictures or documentary videos (sorry for the graphic-less post–clearly this will give Bova further ammunition for her blog war campaign). Instead I walked down and away, as far as time would allow, to sit on a rock on the edge and watch gigantic ravens flying thousands of feet above the ground, but still far below me.

Misguided Travel Guides: Jeremy’s House

If you’re ever in Albuquerque and can somehow swing it, I suggest you stay at Jeremy’s House. Seriously, it is amazing. 80% solar powered, with beautiful vistas of the city (especially at night), Jeremy’s Mom will even heat up leftovers for you and suggest you take biscotti for the road! I was a little worried when his dad asked “So, how do you know Jeremy?” and I had to reply “I’m… his friend?” while trying to ignore all the times I have made fun of him in Cabinet minutes, called him JerBear, or made small, jabbing remarks about his constant, constant geology field trips to non-geological places like Paris. But then we started talking about Jeremy’s various schemes and we felt right at home.

Also, Jeremy basically has an ornithological zoo in his back yard:
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Misguided Travel Guides: Sandia Peak aka Roque’s Mountain

This is Roque’s mountain:

Towering above Albuquerque like a sleeping giant

Towering above Albuquerque like a sleeping giant

It’s actually Sandia Peak (or something–I promptly lost the brochure, like everything else on this trip), but Roque used to work for the Forest Service there. My actual first memory of Roque is very distinct (and is relevant): we were standing in line by the soda machine in the Servery during O-Week and he told me that “Most people know Smoky the Bear, but very few know about his friend, Woodsy the Owl”. Actually, now that I think about it, that could be my first memory of Jeremy. Damn you, Albuquerquians and your mutual interests! In any case, I know for a FACT that Roque once told me a vaguely naughty story involving Woodsy the Owl. Anyway, he worked there and talks about forestry sometimes so they are linked in my mind. The two times I have visited I always conscientiously text him from the top to tell him I’m spreading rumors about him amongst his ex-co-workers. He’s never once replied.

Anyway, the big deal about this mountain, besides its Wiess-associations, is how you get to the top:
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Road Trip: Patricia Attempts To Add Drama

So I suggested to Steven that we use the tripod to record “diary” segments like on reality TV shows and made him hide in the bathroom till I was finished recording.

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA

Misguided Travel Guides: White Sands National Monument

If you drive forever down Highway 70 in New Mexico, just the sort of place you’d expect to run out of gas or break down at the start of a Tex-Mex themed slasher film, you’ll pass some missile testing sites, an inexplicable border patrol check point, and White Sands National Monument. I’ve wanted to go ever since Josh Langsfeld told me in a postcard that it was “like being on the moon.” Which I guess could be true, if Josh’s version of the moon involves being blisteringly hot and sledding down sand dunes, the two principal activities at White Sands.

Just Like When Neil Armstrong Visited

Just Like When Neil Armstrong Visited


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Book Reviews: The Barbarian Princess

Our favorite pastime while driving has inexplicably become reading trashy romance novels aloud in a variety of overly-affected voices. Here is our joint review of the one we finished today:

The Barbarian Princess

If you throw in a few Latin words, it's historical, right?

If you throw in a few Latin words, it's historical, right?

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Misguided Travel Guides: the World’s Second Largest Pecan

Okay. Here is something you may not be aware of.

Texas is so freakin huge.

We’ve been driving all day and only ended up in Comanche Springs, STILL 219 miles from El Paso. And most of it after San Antonio looked a lot like this:

DESOLATION. Also, OIL!

DESOLATION. Also, OIL!

And, okay, maybe I’m lying when I said we’ve been driving ALL day. We did stop in Seguin, Texas, a town whose promotional posters claim that it is “Aged to Perfection”, which is true if here “perfection” means “peeling paint and abandoned buildings”. Why stop here? To see the World’s Second Largest Pecan.
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Roadtrip: The Epic Journey Begins

Hopefully by the time you read this, I’ll already be on I-10, rocking out to my playlist composed of every song on my iPod that contains the words “road”, “highway”, or some kind of place name. I’m not sure what this means for my “WITHOUT FAIL” updating; with any luck, I’ll be updating more, reporting on the day’s adventures, but that largely depends on our ability to find The Internets. Luckily, Steven Wiggins can sniff out free wireless like Jeremy Caves can recognize a non-biodegradable cup from thirty yards. The itinerary remains comfortably vague, a welcome change from my militarized childhood vacations, but here are the concrete deets I have.
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