Terrified
I looked around
For the Twilight photoshoot
But there was none

The next morning I woke up at 8
Annoyed about going to work on a Saturday
As I am every Saturday
I got dressed and went downstairs
I looked out the window

WHITE

I was not going to work today.

I ran upstairs and jumped on Steven.
“SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW!”
“mmrrrhhhmmmgoaway”
“GET UP! LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!”
“mmmrrrhhhdontwanna”
“WE’RE GOING OUTSIDE TO PLAY!”

I dragged Steven outside
He said he would get pneumonia
I told him it was good for him
Then I found a trash can lid and tried to sled.

Our solar panel is sad

The night it began I was at
Harris Teeter
Because Steven had discovered at the last minute
That our milk was bad
and he needed it to make tortillas.

There were so many people
(I parked across the street)
It seemed like everyone was a college student
Buying beer and wine
Or a mom buying cat food.

I stood in line for the self check out
With my one bottle of milk
In the middle of the shampoo aisle
When from the front of the store
We heard someone shout
“It’s snowing!”

And getting home was a bitch.

Food Lion was more crowded than I’ve ever seen it today
though still not in Florida Hurricane Preparedness Proportions.
It’s next to a sad Burger King, the wrong side of a disregarded exit
Off 54
Everyone was buying:
Their weight in cans
Bottled Water
Candles
Bread and Milk.
Children bundled tightly in snow suits, staring at the sky
Waiting

There was only one man ahead of me
In 10 Items Or Less
He was buying:
A container of chicken wings
A case of beer
Eight frozen pizzas.
He looked like a man who knew he was prepared
In a way the Weather Channel would never think to advocate.
I was buying:
AA batteries
Powdered sugar
Chocolate chips (the two things I’d forgotten for baking)
A giant candle in a glass holder with Arch Angel Michael killing some demon.
I know it was somehow Catholic, but they were the only candles left
It was either Michael or a dead Jesus
And I thought defeating demons was marginally more cheerful
Than to have the eyes of a sad Christ look on
As I try in vain to complete the World’s Largest Crossword after the power goes out
By the light of a candle meant for religion
But somehow next to beer and chicken wings and chocolate chips on the conveyor belt
Just the same.

I decided, since first day of class is never about anything you can’t look up online later anyways, to take notes in the form of a poem. I bet you can tell everything we talked about just from that. Two cool things:

1. He decided we didn’t have to buy the book because the bookstore didn’t order them. Once again my lack of initiative pays off!

2. One of the assignments is to answer questions on Yahoo!Answers and other social Q&A sites. I realize it will probably be impossible to limit myself to anything involving the Jonas Brothers and inane dating advice (preferably both), but a girl can dream.

This return involved two plane rides and a sandwich in Baltimore, whose airport is actually just a mall where some planes hang out. On the latter plane, Steven and I decided that the BEST POSSIBLE use of our time was to write each other notes while listening to our respective iPods. Naturally this quickly devolved into joint poetry:

I wrote Steven’s in italics because he has the prettier handwriting. I would try to recreate mine, but there’s no html for “six year old holding a pen in her fist”.

Where are my keys, I lost my phone
Alone, along it falls…
I window shop with you in my mind
A flannel shirt at the five and dime
I can’t get no satisfaction
Underthings. Tumbling.
I thought I was smarter as I flew into the sun
Lord Belford’s shot came rumbling, our rebel forces reeled
Have you seen your mother, baby, standing in the shadows?
Have you ever loved someone so much you thought your little heart would break in two?
I didn’t think so.
Give me a word, give me a sign. Show me how to look, tell me what will I find…
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack but he didn’t expect to be rocked by Shaq
Collecting each thing, reflecting his world
Breaking my back just to know your name
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes
Where hydrogen is built into helium at a temperature of millions of degrees
And made of glass, dreams from the past wait for this day
It all would have been different if he’d seen her in daylight
When you’re out there on your own, where your memories can find you
I’m interested in things. I’m not a real doctor
I got to drowning in the blues
It’s astounding; time is fleeting
Hooray for new math!
It’s 12pm so he starts with a thriller
And every kid on the whole damn street was gonna make it big on every beat
Into my brain goes a bang bang bang till my feet do the same
And I don’t wanna say I told you so, but I told you so
A girl in every port and gadgets up my sleeve
The world is not enough for the both of us it seems
It’s a brand new day and the sun is high
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance then their no friends of mine
Oh I drank some champagne from your shoe, la la la
I’d let you watch, I would invite you, but the queens we use would not excite you
In these days of cool reflection, you come to me and every thing seems alright
When they cut me open I guess I changed my mind
Learning to match the beat of the old world man
Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon?
I still hear the snares in the square, colors ablaze in the evening
Isn’t it enough to know I ruined a pony making a gift for you?
You don’t fool me, those restless eyes, that sexy smile
It’s times like these I wonder what would Jimmy Buffet do?
Show me how to lie, you’re getting better all the time
The few who grew up tall and proud in the shadow of the mushroom cloud
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Let’s keep the freaking out to a minimum.

Then we played the game of guessing what song each line was from. Exciting times!

Almost as exciting as seeing my play tonight!! Anna tells me that it’s getting Tony buzz already. But even if things don’t turn out, at least I will have my massive amounts of pie to console me. Which reminds me that I need to put a fork in my purse.

The first: my invention of emo comics in 2006, after a coworker at the library invited me to join the “Spinster Librarian Club”. Here was the comic response I drew in my journal of myself exiting the “Interstate de vie” (“writen in French b/c it’s classier”) onto Rural Route Spinster Librarian on the way to Scenic Alonesville. You can see my two library coworkers already ahead of me on the road:

You'll note that I include an explanatory note for our SE friends. Oh, past Patricia, always considerate

Then, a mere year later, I first broke into the field of emo poetry for a THE 434 Emo Poetry Contest with this gem:

The Blind Gravedigger

By Circe Bloodtear

Ever waking
Never sleeping
Always weeping
Just in hearing
The sighs of desolate sorrow
They rend my heart
They plumb my soul
Wondering if there’ll
Be a tomorrow…
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
When the rain will wash away
Wash
Wash
Wash away
the blood
The blood you tore from my heart
As you crushed it in your fist
And threw it to ravenous swarms of
VICIOUS RAVENS!
They also pecked out my eyes.

I don’t remember what the other entries to this contest were like or who won or even why we were having an Emo Poetry Contest to begin with. These were the early days of THE 434, before we chronicled our exploits in list form.