Note Thomas in the background, being a potato

We tried to recreate this at our recent 1991 reunion:

As you can imagine, this recreation was fraught with difficulty

Thomas manfully attempted to mash himself up into a little potato-like ball, and Megan and I pretended to be short, but the 20 intervening years have made the illusion somewhat less than perfect. Plus, my apartment doesn’t have a fireplace or a big pink chair.

Also we couldn’t stop laughing:

1. Mexican Roll–Patricia

Scrambled eggs, salsa, sushi rice, seaweed

I was legitimately shocked when this ended up tasting kind of good. Maybe because all you could really taste was the salsa. I would eat this again, actually.

2. Minimalist Roll–Joe

Craisins, Rice, Seaweed

Joe seemed to suffer from a fit of indecision while waiting to wrap his roll and ended up only putting dried cranberries in. So it tasted pretty much like sushi rice with a little sweetness. Luckily I love sushi rice!

3. Pantry Attack Roll–Rob

Pretzels, peanut butter, sprinkles, Heath Bar Shell ice cream topping, rice, seaweed, probably some other things

This roll was ridiculous. Also, didn’t really hold together so it was hard to eat. In consequence, the bite of it I got was mostly pretzel and heath bar ice cream topping, which tasted okay. I’m not sure what all ingredients tasted together would have been like.

4. Sandwich Roll–Rachel

Cucumber, tomato, cheese, pickle, rice, seaweed, maybe something else?

This roll was also pretty much impossible to eat the normal way. The bite I got tasted like pickle. Because I’m pretty sure all that was in it was pickle. Other people got bites of other things, and Rachel claimed this made her roll psychic.

5. Trying Too Hard Roll–Steven

Cucumbers, red cabbage, black sesame seeds, rice, seaweed

Steven has never really understood the deal with Servery Challenges despite my constantly trying to explain them and being part of at least a few. He seems to think that it’s all about presentation and combining flavors that you already know will taste good and being all professional and planning ahead. He just doesn’t get that Servery Challenges are THE OPPOSITE of all of these things. In days of yore, they happened spontaneously, when everyone had precisely ten minutes to run into the servery, frantically grab some things, and hurriedly construct something back at the table while someone found a celebrity judge (i.e. Dr. Gustin or a prospie or someone). It’s all about discovering the beauty of randomness and not thinking before acting. Actually, most of my college life was about discovering those things.

Can you guess who won? Since we were in my kitchen, there was no celebrity guest judge, so we decided by popular vote. I forgot how incredibly sneaky Rob can be. He is all about psychological games and voting with strategy. So naturally he won. I think because all anyone could taste of his was peanut butter and pretzel. And I am all for peanut butter and pretzels. Although I still do not recommend making this roll if that’s what you want.

Long live the Servery challenge!

I wish I could show you the inside of this book but I would have to give you all PIRATE 3D GLASSES! It is mostly scenes from Pirates of the Caribbean

Oh my grosh you guys! I can now bake UP TO FOUR potatoes in the microwave now. Apparently.

Still kind of skeptical about this one.

I hope it's small enough to fit on the head of a pin

Steven got this in his stocking, and it is hilarious

“If you’re reading this book, you must be pretty smart. That’s because you’re wise enough to know exactly what you don’t know–and that’s weddings. It’s okay that you don’t know; you’re not supposed to. Unlike your fiance, you were not born and bred with the divine knowledge of all things nuptial–nor do you want to pore through book after thick bridal book.”(i). Thanks, Idiot’s Guide! I did not know that, as a woman, I was qualified at age 2 to be a weddingologist! The book kind of continues in this tone, like “we know, this is whack. But it’s just a girl thing you don’t have to understand. Just agree that turquoise and teal are totally, totally different things and back away slowly.” Also in the back there are ads for the Idiots Guide to being father of the bride, mother of the bride, and bridal vows, but nothing for me. Good thing I am already a weddingologist! And am not doing anything this book talks about at all. Except sending invitations. But they will be homemade and awesome.

Super classy right now, Steven!

As you can maybe tell, Steven’s stocking was more photogenic than mine.

So that's a vegetable peeler shaped like a bird, a plastic clamshell opener of varying usefulness, a corn cobber, and a corn brush

We have had corn maybe one time, but I guess now we will be making it more often? Or I will brainstorm other uses for a corn brush for its off days. The vegetable peeler actually works really well!

Bento lunch box!

Samurai chopsticks!

Magic Berry Tablets!

Apparently there’s some kind of magic fruit that, after you eat it, it makes all sour things taste sweet! They are pretty rare in the US, but Steven talks about them constantly so I bought him some for Christmas. We haven’t tried them yet since we haven’t amassed enough sour things to try, but I will report back on if they are really magical, and if so, how magical on a scale of one to ten. Ten being Harry Potter and One being Parents Against Bad Books In Schools.

Speaking of Harry Potter:

Yay!!! This is the main reason we couldn't fit things in our suitcase

I also got my three favorite books I read this year!

From left to right, and in descending order of awesome:
1) True Meaning of Smekday by Adam Rex
2) Un Lun Dun by China Mieville
3) Larklight: A Rousing Tale of Dauntless Pluck in the Farthest Reaches of Space by Philip Reeve

And, my favorite present from all of Christmas, MYTHICAL SHOES!!!! From Rhett and Link!!! It’s not every day your favorite band--well, kind of a band–makes their own awesome footwear!

They have wings so I can go SUPER FAST when I am half an hour late for class like yesterday

They have pockets on the back, and a little one on the side for my guitar pick. Super handy for when I wander around Carrboro with my ukulele serenading hipsters!

Best present ever!! Good job, Steven!

As per normal Servery Challenge rules: contestants have ten minutes to make a drink that utilizes at least one shot of Raspberry Chocovine and anything else found in the kitchen. Drinks will be judged based on Tastiness, Presentation, and Creativity. Since there are no celebrity guest judges easily accessible in my apartment, a winner is decided through popular vote.

As per normal Patricia Servery Challenge strategy, I decided not to taste Raspberry Chocovine or indeed the drink I made until the actual judging. I figured it would just dash my spirits. GOTTA BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

The Entries:

Sprinkles!!!!! The only good part about this drink.

Contestant: Patricia
Drink Name: Cozy Winter Dream
Ingredients: Raspberry chocovine, milk, hot chocolate mix, raspberry vodka, whipped cream, sprinkles

Because it is so cold outside, I decided to go with a hot drink. This was a monumentally stupid idea. At first, all I could taste was whipped cream. Then, all I could taste was metal mixed with sugar. But at least it’s colorful!

This may look like a sundae... DON'T BE FOOLED

Contestant: Rachel
Drink Name: Mamma’s frappuccino
Ingredients: Raspberry Chocovine, Gran Gala, Raspberry Vodka, Chocolate sauce, marshmallows, whipped cream

By consensus, this tasted like an alcoholic chiclet balloon.

Best use of senior gift mug

Contestant: Joe, Servery Challenge Novice
Drink name: Razzputin
Ingredients: Raspberry Chocovine, Chambord, Milk, Heavy Cream, whipped cream

Basically, this just tasted like a slightly alcoholic raspberry Yoohoo. And I don’t know why that doesn’t exist already.

Steven, of course, had to make individual shots like a fancy person

Contestant: Steven
Drink Name: Sonic ChocoBlast
Ingredients: Raspberry Chocovine, ice, chocolate syrup, chopped chocolate, chambord, amaretto, heavy cream, whipped cream

Steven is the only person who would use all of those ingredients, a blender, and a fancy mixer with slicer attachment to make one drink, which mostly tasted like ice, with chocolate. Steven’s drink won, although he was sort of tied with Joe on taste, but not presentation. Naturally the voting system is the most informal possible.

Everyone agreed: Raspberry Chocovine is terrible. You know, in case you were planning on buying some. Regular Chocovine is also pretty bad, but can easily be made palatable. As long as you don’t put french fries in it. But Raspberry Chocovine was definitely harder to doctor. I’m pretty sure the winner we picked also had the least actual raspberry Chocovine per sample. Also the bottle is brownish pink. In all, I would not recommend it. At all. I have no idea what I’m going to do with the leftover.

As might be expected, I just messed around with the basics, and Steven tried to find the fanciest recipe possible. Sure, his took twice as long as mine, but it was also twice as spicy.

Since I am all about pineapple on pizza (although sadly I find Canadian bacon gross), I thought it would be interesting to try orange on pizza! I wasn’t able to find any examples of this online to make sure I wasn’t crazy, but this was an adventure(!) so I was not to be dissuaded. Besides, I know how to make pizza already, so whatever.
The easiest recipe I know is one for this pizza crust/flatbread that I got out of a teen cooking book. I love teen cookbooks because they try to be accommodating, not pretentious, and usually have awesome pictures. I like this recipe because you don’t even have to let the dough rise:

2 cups flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 cup olive oil
3/4 cup milk

Mix together until a dough! Then spread on a flat pan! Top with things! Bake at 425 degrees for 15-22 minutes until done! Cook length will depend on dough’s thinness.

I don’t remember if the original recipe was written in entirely exclamation marks like that, but it should have been. I chose to top my pizza with: two oranges and 1/4 of a red onion, cut up, feta cheese, walnuts, and spinach. It looked like this:

Next time I would probably put the spinach on top after cooking

Steven made a fancy Persian rice dish whose recipe I can’t remember because it was extremely complicated. However, it had a lot of tasty spices, including ginger and curry, and two kinds of nuts: almonds and pistachios. It used up at least 3 oranges! Yay!

The orange peel ended up being almost candied and way tasty!

Competitive cooking is the best kind of cooking!!

I am not really big on Christmas trees. It feels weird having a tree in the house and the strong smell often makes my allergies freak out. Plus, this one time in Florida, there were fly eggs in our tree and I spent all of Christmas killing forty-seven flies (I counted them as they fought a battle of wits with my fly swatter and lost). Plus, messy and small apartment. So we decided to decorate the stairs!

I wish I had taken a before shot, because then you would see why “let’s decorate the stairs” wasn’t even really a choice we made–it was so obvious that we didn’t even discuss it. When we moved in, the stair banister was ugly and white and large. That very day–before we even had a bed–I decorated it with all of the scarves I own (it looked like a rainbow caterpillar)–and giant light strands were the first thing I bought at Target to further bling it out. And to add light to our dark living room. Anyway, the stairs have always been a crazy work of art, and if anything they look slightly more dignified now.

I had some rope Christmas lights–which I’ve discovered BLINK AT VARYING SPEEDS, you have no idea how happy this makes me–plus the things in my Christmas box. And some scarves I left on because they were the right colors! Here are some badly lit pictures!

You can just make out the T-Shirt Quilt and inherited Rice throw rug chillin on the back of the couch.

Plus the little secret door. What’s behind it? You may never know.

I had to turn the lights to "slow" speed instead of "frenzied rave!" which they were at previously

Here are some close ups of some of the ornaments!

This is something we made in preschool when I was 4 (it has the date on the back, so I know for sure).

Also on the back: a picture of 4-year-old me looking way annoyed that my picture is being taken for an ornament.

My mom makes these elves out of felt, pipe cleaners, and small Styrofoam balls!

She says she is not artistic or anything, but this is clearly where I get my craftiness. These were literally EVERYWHERE in our house every Christmas. Their limbs and bodies are pipe cleaners so they’re easy to pose and hook from fan pulls or lamps. You couldn’t pee without worrying about one watching you from somewhere in the bathroom. I only have two elves so far, and none of them are in the bathroom. Sorry, elves, but I need my privacy.

Steven got this ornament from my parents this year so he would not feel left out.

Because Coke is his One True Love and it can’t be left out of Christmas!

Yay homemade stockings!

You know you are accepted into the family when my mom makes you a stocking with maximum sequinitude! That’s why Steven’s looks so much newer than mine.

We also read one of my favorite holiday stories:

The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming: A Christmas Story by Lemony Snicket

My favorite part is doing the screaming pages. AHHHHHHHHHH!

Adventure #2: Completed!

This is less of an ambitious promise than it sounds, if you know anything about my personal definition of “adventure”. It’s all in how you tell it. I’m pretty sure I could describe a trip to the grocery store in such a way that you would be just waiting for the movie deal. And maybe I will sometime in the next 13 days if I run out of ideas.

Today’s adventure: visiting Steven at work! This isn’t something I do often at all, mostly because I have no time and because it’s an hour away. It’s a very pretty drive though, through the middle of nowhere and over Jordan Lake, which was really calm and clear today. The road snakes through the woods; the speed limit is pretty high but there are lots of turns so I always end up pretending to be The Stig¹. Plus, a small amount of snow from last weekend is still hanging around in shady parts:

Not enough for a snowman, but enough to look nice!

Steven’s work is in the tiny–unbelievably tiny–town of Holly Springs, whose main claim to fame is that it also has the closest Sonic to our house. This is Steven’s office!

In Holly Springs, everything tries to look like your great aunt's house, even if it is a web design company!

And here is Steven’s personal office!

Notice the blank screen. I'm pretty sure he only pretends to work.

Then I took him to the only place to eat (besides Sonic) in Holly Springs, My Way Tavern! They have tasty “Cajun Fried Potato Slices”, which turned out to just be fancy potato chips! Things always taste better when they have fancy names.

And Steven always takes forever to decide!

It’s okay, it’s not his 13 Adventures. In fact, whenever I go to a restaurant this week, I’m just going to tell the waiter “BRING ME THE MOST ADVENTUROUS THING!” Definitely the only way to go. I will have to find an adventuring hat to wear tomorrow. What will tomorrow’s adventure be? EVEN I DON’T KNOW YET. I’m that adventurous, you have no idea.

Last weekend was Halloween! I was pretty excited because I love carving pumpkins. My favorite part is scraping out the insides, but I also like roasting pumpkin seeds and finishing lightyears ahead of Steven because he is artistic and I like to stick with things I know won’t look like a stabby four-year-old got a hold of them.

Until Saturday, I hardly had time to think about it being Halloween, I was so busy with school and work and things. Also, it was so hot outside I kept forgetting it was October. But then it was Saturday, time to finally buy a pumpkin and carve it!

The only problem was, there were no pumpkins left in all of Carrboro. I’m not joking. There were gigantic bins of pumpkins outside Harris Teeter all month but they were suddenly gone on October 30th. I went to two Harris Teeters, the Whole Foods, and the Boy scouts in front of that church on Estes, all of which had happy rows of pumpkins before, all empty the day before Halloween. Is it really required that you buy your pumpkin a week in advance? I was not aware of this rule. People sell Christmas trees up till Christmas eve! And fireworks the day of July 4th! If special Halloween candy was still mad overpriced at Harris Teeter the day before Halloween, pumpkins should have been too. Alas.

So, I gave up. This year would be the year I did not carve a pumpkin. Sadness.

Then on Sunday I woke up with renewed energy for the wild pumpkin chase. So what if I would get approximately no school work done this weekend? Some things are important, and carving pumpkins is one of them. After returning from another abortive grocery store trip, I happened to notice a woman in a parking lot with a truck and some pumpkins spread out on the ground. Success!!! Kind of sketchy success!!!

She also had three less than a month old kittens in a bird cage. Scientific discovery of the day: they were the most adorable thing ever. I’m almost positive I’ve never seen a kitten in real life before, not one that young and that cute. It’s probably because I’m moderately to deathly allergic to them, so my parents pretty much put a moratorium on me going anywhere near cats from a young age. I was okay with this, because the few I accidentally encountered at friends’ houses were pretty mean. I did not really get the deal with having a pet that seemed to either ignore or hate you. I have half of humanity for that. Also, I associate them with itchy eyes, not being able to breathe, and hives. So, you know, there’s that.

ANYWAY, these kittens were ADORABLE. They were making this pathetic little mewing noise like “Why are we in a cage? Why are we so cute? Take us home with you!” The woman selling the pumpkins was like “Do you want a free kitten?” And I said, “No, I’m allergic” but while looking longingly at them, so she made me hold one. Second, lesser scientific discovery of the day: kittens are the softest things EVER. They were some kind of Siamese/lynx mix, so they were gray and white and kind of stripey. The one she handed me tried to crawl up my sweater. But then all the places its claws touched my skin became all red and raised like mosquito bites that still haven’t fully gone away, so in the end, I think not taking home the adorable creature of death was a good decision.

Still, just so you know, kittens are way cute. Still not big on cats.

Then we carved pumpkins! As usual, I was done in record time! Mostly because mine always involve only carving five or six shapes. This year I decided to make use of some skewers we had left over from the dip party to give mine hair/a strange hat. It’s unclear which:

His expression says he's bad at math, but would be fun at a party

Steven, as usual, spent like half an hour in the planning stage, and then at least another hour for carving meticulously. I assume he does this just so I have to clean off the gross pumpkin goo from the seeds alone. Finished product:

The TARDIS pumpkin probably brought in our one group of trick-or-treaters since the adults recognized it. The children, who were way young, seemed to just be confused about why they were dressed like Batman.

All summer when driving to and from work I’ve seen signs for corn mazes along the side of the road that are “Coming Soon!” Saturday was the first day for most of them, and I pretty much just put jeans on over my pajamas and dragged Steven out of the house in excitement.

I’ve been to one corn maze before, in Albuquerque with THE 434 plus Josh Langsfeld. This mostly involved wandering around in the mostly dead corn trying to decide what parts were path and what parts were corn that had just fallen down:

October 2007: A corn maze that's not trying very hard

This corn maze was totally different! At the beginning, they gave us a piece of paper with various multiple choice questions on it. When we got to certain forks in the path marked with numbered posts, we would answer the question and go left or right depending on our answer. We chose American History (the other categories were Scripture, 4-H, and Corn), and my job as a 5th grade tutor totally came through for us on this one. It was always a small triumph any time we made it to the next signpost with the knowledge that at least with this decision we’d probably be making the right choice. It also helped to keep us from accidentally wandering too far back when retracing our steps. It still took us about an hour to make it out, but it probably would have been at least twice that otherwise.

September 2010: Notice how the corn behind me is still alive

Also how my sunglasses have only improved in awesomeness over time. That orange tie-dye thing is a flag they gave us to wave if we got too lost so that they could come and get us. There was a guy sitting on a platform watching us the entire time, probably laughing at us for constantly taking the wrong turn and getting super lost. Here is my super lost face:

Not even my cursory knowledge of Revolutionary War trivia could save us

Luckily, we finally made it out alive:

Steven, claiming this maze in the name of Tie Dye

The next corn maze I complete will definitely be at night, though. Not just for the scariness, but to keep my shoulders from getting super sunburned.