Posts Tagged ‘jobs’

Library of Congress Archiving Tweets?!?

For real real!! There is a CNN article about it and everything. Apparently they will have every public tweet ever tweeted since Twitter’s creation in 2006! They cite the need to save important tweets as well as uses for the data to study human interactions in an increasingly digital world.

More importantly, it means that I have to add a new job to my Possible Job Ideas list:
Twitter Librarian of Congress

How awesome would that be? I will be watching for that job posting and will apply by tweet to seem authentic.

Possible Job Ideas: Trampoline Park

So a park made entirely out of trampolines pretty much sounds like the coolest thing ever, and trampoline dodgeball doubly so.

There are about a frillion videos on youtube of people doing ridiculous flips etc.

There are about a frillion videos on youtube of people doing ridiculous flips etc.

Naturally, I’m super jealous of Colorado, Boston, Ohio, California, Nevada, Missouri, and–OMFG YOU GUYS THERE IS ONE IN HOUSTON. What was I DOING for four years of my life when I could have become a trampoline dodgeball champion? I could have become a trampoline dodgeball coach! Wasted. Potential.

Possible Job Ideas: My Reading Class Decides

Me: Okay, this is just a pretest, so don’t freak out if you don’t know all the answers. If you got them all right, you would have nothing left to learn and I wouldn’t have a job.
Boy 1: Don’t worry, Miss Trish, I will get every other one wrong just for you.
Me: Thanks, way to take one for the team. Of course, I will be sharing your scores with your parents.
Boy 1: Never mind, I’m going to get them all right. You can be a janitor or something.
Me: What if I’m terrible at mopping? You don’t know my cleaning skill set.
Boy 1: Okay, a window washer.
Me: Those are robots now!
Boy 1: A WINDOW WASHING ROBOT!

Then they made plans for my future career as a window washing robot (one girl wanted me to be a Roomba instead) and it took so long to get them back on task that they rushed the test and got a bunch wrong. Ah, job security.

Possible Job Ideas

Every time we have a guest speaker in one of our classes, I become more and more convinced that my Master’s degree will make me less qualified for gainful employment. It doesn’t matter what they’re supposed to be talking about; it always devolves into “You poor suckers, you’ll never get a job, and certainly not around here where there are more librarians than environmentally-conscious hipsters (and there are A LOT of environmentally-conscious hipsters). And ESPECIALLY not if you want to work in youth services or at a public library. You are screwed with a capital S.” The situation is pretty dire. Especially now that I find out I have to compete with degree-holding pets too. Can you imagine going for an interview against Oreo Collins the tuxedo cat? You’d be all “I wrote my Master’s paper on–” and he’d interrupt with “I AM ADORABLE! PET ME! PET ME AND THEN HIRE ME!” and start to play with your shoelaces.

Anyway, since I am nothing if not organized, I’ve decided to plan ahead and think of other possible awesome job ideas. To help me, I’ve assigned all my fifth graders to write five paragraph essays about “What would the best job ever be and why?” But so far all I’ve gotten were doctor and astrophysicist. I know, lame. When I was in fifth grade I would have totally written about either water slide tester or Disney princess.

Although I’m not entirely without hope:

Boy: Can it be ANY job?
Me: Anything. Even water slide tester.
Boy: I don’t know if that’s a real job.
Me: I think it is. But even if it wasn’t, made up jobs are okay too.
Boy: Alright, I’m going to choose shark.
Me: What?
Boy: Shark.
Me: Ummm… can you think of three reasons to write paragraphs about?
Boy: OF COURSE! You get to eat people, you get to swim around, AND you get to BE A SHARK.
Me: I know this class doesn’t have grades, but you just earned an A+.

So yeah, so far it’s looking like shark is the best bet.

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