Posts Tagged ‘JerBear’

Better post this quick; only four minutes left!

Did you know my blog is 3 years old today?? IT IS!

Now I’m all nostalgic for making fun of Wiess cabinet members. Clearly I need to call Jeremy Caves and demand he give me a lecture about the best way to use a shower timer or something.

I am miraculously cured and kind of miss JerBear

It sometimes feels like I have spent my entire life suffering from allergies. I’ve learned to live with it as best I can, knowing that I can’t visit my grandparents in the country without either taking so much medication that I get woozy or being unable to breathe. Cats are the main offenders and, like the slightly sinister, prescient beings they are, they naturally gravitate towards me because of this. But even if I avoid them like graduate students fleeing a hornet-infested classroom (funny story…), I still have to contend with all of this nature that seems to have sprung up everywhere.

At least, until now.

The trees here are greeting the return of warm weather by bathing us all in smoky clouds of yellow. I washed Trixie yesterday afternoon and when I went out to get the mail just after dinner it already looked like she had had some kind of run in with the car version of Goldfinger. Everyone in my classes is hacking and sniffling. And yet, I am fine. I at first assumed that I had died without noticing.

Then the girl sitting next to me told me that the best way to fight allergies is to eat the local honey, since it has been made with that same pollen. Like a tasty, tasty vaccination. It occurs to me that I have been eating extremely local honey bought at the farmer’s market for months now. Could my allergies finally have been cured from homeopathic, hippie folk wisdom?? Has my interest in farmer’s markets from my Literature and the Environment class at far off Rice actually saved my life? I assumed so.

Then I called my parents and they were all like “Allergies take a while to kick in, wait till next year and you’ll feel like you’re DYING”. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

Whatever, in the face of logic, I am going to embrace my smelly, hippie brethren and believe that they know what they’re talking about. You can tell how long it’s been since I’ve seen Jeremy Caves, the force of his good-natured, Parmesan-loving, eco-pushing personality is starting to wear off. I don’t think I’m prepared to punch someone for not recycling anymore as JerBear so often recommended. You’ll notice that JerBear has his own tag on my blog, though he would probably be too busy contesting this nickname to feel honored. Brian Reinhart is the only other person to have won this achievement (through his treachery).

Transcripts: Thomas Misses Wiess (More than I do?)

Thomas: I miss Rob.
Me: Yeah, me too.
Thomas: And Josh. They should come back. And bring Roque. And JerBear. And all of Wiess.
Me: It seems like that would get kind of crowded.
Thomas: They could sleep in my room on the air mattress.
Me: Okay…
Thomas: Except for Roque and JerBear. They can sleep with me.

Misguided Travel Guides: Jeremy’s House

If you’re ever in Albuquerque and can somehow swing it, I suggest you stay at Jeremy’s House. Seriously, it is amazing. 80% solar powered, with beautiful vistas of the city (especially at night), Jeremy’s Mom will even heat up leftovers for you and suggest you take biscotti for the road! I was a little worried when his dad asked “So, how do you know Jeremy?” and I had to reply “I’m… his friend?” while trying to ignore all the times I have made fun of him in Cabinet minutes, called him JerBear, or made small, jabbing remarks about his constant, constant geology field trips to non-geological places like Paris. But then we started talking about Jeremy’s various schemes and we felt right at home.

Also, Jeremy basically has an ornithological zoo in his back yard:
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Roadtrip: The Epic Journey Begins

Hopefully by the time you read this, I’ll already be on I-10, rocking out to my playlist composed of every song on my iPod that contains the words “road”, “highway”, or some kind of place name. I’m not sure what this means for my “WITHOUT FAIL” updating; with any luck, I’ll be updating more, reporting on the day’s adventures, but that largely depends on our ability to find The Internets. Luckily, Steven Wiggins can sniff out free wireless like Jeremy Caves can recognize a non-biodegradable cup from thirty yards. The itinerary remains comfortably vague, a welcome change from my militarized childhood vacations, but here are the concrete deets I have.
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The List: Final Round Up

After weeks of denial and trying to use all my Tetra points (to no avail), I think it’s finally hit me that I’ll never be coming back here and these people will never be part of my life again. The defining moment: taking The List off the wall, incomplete, and lovingly taping it into my journal. I told everyone to tell me if they happen to complete any of our so-far unmarked items so I can cross it off, but it seems unlikely that we’ll be able to #53 Start a Pyramid Scheme at Wiess. Ah, missed opportunities. Here is The List in its entirety (with amusing anecdotes where applicable and completed items crossed off):
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Despite the Rainpocalypse, THE TRUTH WILL PREVAIL

When the weather is this bad, I tend to blame it for absolutely everything wrong with my life, including my inability to access my blog from my lap top. Usually that alone would be enough to trigger my intense paranoia, but it seems to only happen on Tuesday and Friday mornings when I want to update my blog. It says WITHOUT FAIL in the top right hand corner there. I can’t ignore those capital letters. So for the second time this week I have dutifully walked down to the Wiess computer lab to work on it there, which seems to annoy the people around me who have actual work to finish. Also, me, because I like to write in my pajamas. Friday, I grudgingly got dressed before warning you about the dangers of Rachel Liontas, but today I’ve given up. Steven Wiggins, itinerant webmaster, at first told me I was crazy. Then, when Roque also complained that he could not see my blog, he decided to investigate, and then decided to blame WordPress or some server or something. He says it will be okay by the end of this week, but I think it is some conspiracy perpetuated by Brian Reinhart. He seemed pretty upset when I saw him last Friday.

Ostensibly, he dropped by on a “I’m never going to see you again because I’m going home tomorrow” visit (the VERY day the Rainpocalypse began–a little TOO convenient). Along with his sadness, however, he brought along two reusable Target bags full of newspapers, claiming that I could take them to IKEA and exchange them for food.

Brian Reinhart: I view IKEA as the greatest triumph of modern capitalism.

Only later did I find out this was A LIE. You CANNOT exchange newspaper for food at IKEA and now there’s a 20-inch stack of newspapers in my room I don’t know what to do with. I can only make so many funny hats, Brian. I would just recycle them to make Jeremy Caves happy (my goal in life) and think nothing of it, except for Brian’s OTHER comments on that fateful Friday.

Brian Reinhart: I saw your blog. (dramatic pause) You think it’s over because there’s no Thresher this week. But you just wait. You forgot the GRADUATE EDITION.
Me: I have no idea what that is.
Brian Reinhart: OH, YOU’LL SEE! (maniacal laughter)

I don’t know if he realizes that, after every “last” issue of The Thresher, I WILL STILL HAVE A BLOG. You can’t turn off the Internet, Brian.

And just when I was about to shout that at him I realized: that’s what he’s been doing. It’s not the server or WordPress or the other things Steven Wiggins has claimed so it looks like he knows what he’s doing; it’s BRIAN REINHART trying to STIFLE THE TRUTH. AND CAPITAL LETTERS. As Bo will tell you from his career as a Wiess President who often says things he regrets at Cabinet, I firmly believe that The People Have a Right To Know, but mostly just Nobody Tells Me What To Do. And that includes you, Mr. Calendar Page. Bring it.

In other news, despite Brian’s Rainpocalypse, we managed to complete another List item #88 this weekend by, not only going to see Molly and the Ringwalds at the Continental Club, but singing on stage with them:

As you can see by the dancing drunk girl, it was a wild success

As you can see by the dancing drunk girl, it was a wild success

We got made fun of a lot (by the band) for being “babies” and, in the case of Rachel and Bova, for forming a “Tall Girl Club” that the lead singer could not join. Still, we prevailed. Livin’ On a Prayer was never shrieked into a microphone so well. (I am noticably absent from this THE 434 picture because Patricia Ladd does not sing in public ever since a traumatic incident in the sixth grade.)

Things That Spell Our Doom–2

1. Rachel Liontas

Harmless Gullible Freshman... OR IDENTITY THIEF???

Harmless Gullible Freshman... OR IDENTITY THIEF???

She looks a little TOO happy considering we convinced her to buy most of the Wiess Garage Sale. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I love Rachel Liontas. If there was some kind of bracket system to determine The Best Freshman, she would totally be in my Final Four (now that I think about it, why DON’T we pit the freshmen against each other in a dramatic, death-defying battle for the seniors’ love? Or is that the Freshmen One Acts?). At the wildly successful Wiess Garage Sale, Rachel made off with the following from THE 434’s stash of amazingness: a coconut cup, kickball, Mystery Date Game, pirate hat, Rubix Cube, shiny pink 80s dress, hot pink toga, cowboy hat, Christmas lights, and red star sunglasses. This list is a little too calculated to be just random, impulse buying. Clearly she is amassing all of our definitive possessions in a wild bid to become THE 434 after we have gone. DO NOT BE FOOLED. Just because it is pink and sparkly does NOT mean that it is necessarily Bova!
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