Posts Tagged ‘hoedown throwdown’

Things That Spell Our Doom: North Carolina Edition!

You may have thought that moving to an entirely different part of the country would alleviate at least some of the constant mortal peril I face daily. But you thought wrong! If anything, I am in even MORE danger. Here are the top three North Carolinian threats to my well-being.

1. Giants

It’s come to my attention that North Carolina seems to be home to a family of giants as absent-minded as they are bone-crunching. They’re so busy eating innocent bystanders that they left their chests of drawers just lying around:

Somewhere there's a giant with cold feet consoling himself by eating a busload full of school children

Somewhere there's a giant with cold feet consoling himself by eating a busload full of school children

These drawers are about 40 feet high, and are apparently for rent. They claim to be the World’s Largest Chest of Drawers, but on the drive over near the interstate, we found further damning evidence:
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Last Last Day of Classes!

Actually, this title is not true in any way, since I’m pretty sure library science grad school also has a last day of classes, and BOTH of my seminars have decided to postpone our last class/presentations till Monday for some reason. Yes, I have six hours of class the Monday after classes are supposed to be over. I was okay with this earlier in the semester when my only thoughts were “That means I can postpone procrastinating on that project for another week! Holla!” but now I am less thrilled, mostly because yesterday I had to sit next to nostalgic people going “LAST LAST DAY OF COLLEGE EVER!” while muttering bitterly under my breath about anorexic teenage girls or whatever I’m supposed to be writing about.

Other things of note:
While this weekend is going to mark a flurry of List Completion, as of yesterday we have failed at completing #93 Get Professor Gorry to Throw His iPhone (at us?). I admit, it was a long shot even putting it on the list; he really seems to love it, no matter how irritating we’re being. Sad times.

HOEDOWN THROWDOWN SHOWDOWN. I’m sure I’ll be posting pictures later today or tomorrow of our epic win re: The Hoedown Throwdown Showdown. As stated previously, I thought only Bova and I would show up, but apparently a lot of freshmen have been practicing and Alex Mainor told me at pub Wednesday that “the Hoedown Throwdown has become my religion”. Then he filled any silence afterward with “Boom Clap. Boom de clap de clap…” Inspiring. Julia even told me that she stopped working on her senior thesis to practice it, which is the dedication we need to wipe that self-satisfied smirk off of Miley Cyrus’ face and/or become her BFF. I’m not really sure which is the goal here.

Sorry for the short and disjointedness–I have to go get ready for Dirty Sparkly College Night! This includes putting all of the jewelry that I own on at one time and not wearing shoes. See you at the Hoedown Throwdown!

The Hoedown Throwdown Showdown

So this weekend I was convinced by THE 434 (plus Rob, but I think that’s understood) that my only real goal in life until that moment was to see The Hannah Montana Movie with them. Instead of the predictable, trite mess I was expecting, it was fairly entertaining, mostly because people kept randomly falling down (hilarious!) and many of the bemusing subplots weren’t explained at all, such as the scenes when her older brother is inexplicably working as a zookeeper/alligator wrestler. But, as one of my requirements of movies is that someone be attacked by an ostrich, this made me happy.

As you can glean from the previews, the plot involves Miley Cyrus returning to her grandmother’s house in small town Tennessee to reconnect with her roots, find a hot guy, and rediscover who she truly is inside. Rob kept turning to me and asking, “Is that what Tennessee REALLY looks like?” and I would say “Yes, actually, that’s EXACTLY what Tennessee looks like” in a startled way, because I visited my grandparents every summer as a child in Columbia, Tennessee, which claims to be the Mule Capital of the World. It was only later that I discovered that Miley Cyrus’ fictional small town looked eerily accurate because IT WAS FILMED IN COLUMBIA, TENNESSEE:

The most exciting thing to come out of Columbia since James K. Polk

The most exciting thing to come out of Columbia since James K. Polk

Naturally I began to suspect that I am, in fact, Hannah Montana in disguise.
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