You probably remember how this goes. Now that Servery Challenges no longer take place in the Servery, entrants have 10 minutes to complete their entry, this time utilizing at least three shots of Chocovine! Then entries are presented, tasted, and voted on. Supplementary awards are then handed out at the entrants’ discretion.

The Entries
First-time competitor and my preschool BFF, Megan was about as quick as me to complete her entry. She also unprecedentedly brought her OWN fancy, monogrammed glassware and decorated it with a gingham ribbon! I am legitimately impressed.

Clearly I did a great job impressing upon her the seriousness of this competition

Once again, my strategy was to be lightning fast and not taste anything beforehand. Gotta believe in yourself.

Yeah, that's right, this drink has the Dumbledore seal of approval.

Steven, as usual, went for presentation and concept over actual taste, the only one of us to add MORE chocovine. Also as usual, he took longer than the rest of us.

Most of the time was getting that cherry to stay

Thomas! Clearly trying to show Rachel that they are still BFFs! In spirit! Gross Chocovine spirit!

I can assure you, that look is ENTIRELY appropriate

Possibly even more worrying than this is why he decided to name it Rob. Is senior year BFF rivalry coming back in style?

Anyway, after a fierce voting process, it came down to Megan and me! The actual drink parts of our drink tasted fairly similar, but I won a narrow victory, I assume thanks to my shameless attempt to cash in on Harry Potter. Megan and “Cinnamon Surprise” won best appearance, Thomas won “The New Rachel” award and possibly most creative, and Steven won best name! Yay winning!!! Then we watched Thomas’ drink for awhile like a science experiment.

Previously: Chocovine Challenge and Raspberry Chocovine Challenge

As per normal Servery Challenge rules: contestants have ten minutes to make a drink that utilizes at least one shot of Raspberry Chocovine and anything else found in the kitchen. Drinks will be judged based on Tastiness, Presentation, and Creativity. Since there are no celebrity guest judges easily accessible in my apartment, a winner is decided through popular vote.

As per normal Patricia Servery Challenge strategy, I decided not to taste Raspberry Chocovine or indeed the drink I made until the actual judging. I figured it would just dash my spirits. GOTTA BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

The Entries:

Sprinkles!!!!! The only good part about this drink.

Contestant: Patricia
Drink Name: Cozy Winter Dream
Ingredients: Raspberry chocovine, milk, hot chocolate mix, raspberry vodka, whipped cream, sprinkles

Because it is so cold outside, I decided to go with a hot drink. This was a monumentally stupid idea. At first, all I could taste was whipped cream. Then, all I could taste was metal mixed with sugar. But at least it’s colorful!

This may look like a sundae... DON'T BE FOOLED

Contestant: Rachel
Drink Name: Mamma’s frappuccino
Ingredients: Raspberry Chocovine, Gran Gala, Raspberry Vodka, Chocolate sauce, marshmallows, whipped cream

By consensus, this tasted like an alcoholic chiclet balloon.

Best use of senior gift mug

Contestant: Joe, Servery Challenge Novice
Drink name: Razzputin
Ingredients: Raspberry Chocovine, Chambord, Milk, Heavy Cream, whipped cream

Basically, this just tasted like a slightly alcoholic raspberry Yoohoo. And I don’t know why that doesn’t exist already.

Steven, of course, had to make individual shots like a fancy person

Contestant: Steven
Drink Name: Sonic ChocoBlast
Ingredients: Raspberry Chocovine, ice, chocolate syrup, chopped chocolate, chambord, amaretto, heavy cream, whipped cream

Steven is the only person who would use all of those ingredients, a blender, and a fancy mixer with slicer attachment to make one drink, which mostly tasted like ice, with chocolate. Steven’s drink won, although he was sort of tied with Joe on taste, but not presentation. Naturally the voting system is the most informal possible.

Everyone agreed: Raspberry Chocovine is terrible. You know, in case you were planning on buying some. Regular Chocovine is also pretty bad, but can easily be made palatable. As long as you don’t put french fries in it. But Raspberry Chocovine was definitely harder to doctor. I’m pretty sure the winner we picked also had the least actual raspberry Chocovine per sample. Also the bottle is brownish pink. In all, I would not recommend it. At all. I have no idea what I’m going to do with the leftover.

I decided the best way to celebrate would be to buy chocolate from Miel Bon Bons, the classy “patisserie & confiserie” in Car Mill Mall. I’ve definitely wanted to check out their chocolates before, but was always intimidated by the extreme fanciness. I am just a humble grad student, albeit in the finest flip flops the mens shoe section of Target can provide (I have abnormally large feet). Nevertheless, today I felt I deserved it. In the end, Steven and I decided upon three.

Steven chose the one on the left, as you probably could have guessed from its lack of prettiness.

The ugly one on the left is a muscadine truffle. Apparently a muscadine is a kind of grape. It was DELICIOUS, essentially what Chocovine wishes it tasted like. The one on the right is sea salt caramel, equally delicious and rich, not annoyingly sticky like most caramel. Then, the weirdest one:

The purple one: clearly the best

Pineapple basil flavored! I know, weird. But oddly good. The pineapple provided a smooth background taste, whereas the basil and chocolate mingled in a nice blend I wouldn’t have expected. Yes, it was kind of strange to be eating basil in dessert form, but I’m not going to argue with purple tastiness.

Fanciness well earned!

Then I remembered I can’t do Servery Challenges anymore, so I waited to bring you a Very Special Valentine’s Day Top Cocktail Special.

Special thanks to James Fox for his MSPaint Skillz

Four Competitors! Ten minutes! … and one bottle of Chocovine!

See the entires and the results here:

First across the finish line, in the vain hope that points will be awarded for speed (which has only happened once, by celebrity guest judge Arya during the Burgers Out Of Not Burgers Servery Challenge of late 2009), is Patricia Ladd, discoverer of Chocovine and impetus behind this very competition. But will her courage, fortitude, speed, creativity, excellent writing skills, smooth alphabetization, and stellar blog writing be enough against this tough competition? WE SHALL SEE. Hoping to capitalize on the Twilight market, Patricia has christened her drink “Vampire Blood” due to its reddish brownish color and syrupy consistency.

Cool under pressure, Patricia poses her in front of the World's Largest Crossword

“Vampire Blood”
Serves: 2, by the time you’re done messing up
Chocovine
Caramel Hot Chocolate Mix
Sloe Gin
Plain Yogurt
Cream
Maybe some other stuff I grabbed

1. Mix everything together in a cup
2. Taste
3. Try to add things to make it taste better
4. Fail at pouring
5. Try to add more things with minimal success
6. Turn to sabotage

With no presentational skills whatsoever, will the judges be impressed by this hastily mixed drink?

Not next to finish, but the next least ridiculous, is first time Servery Challenge Competitor Steven Wiggins, with his drink that I forget the name of. I will therefore be referring to it as “Freckles”.

Steven Wiggins, bringing fresh talent and new ideas to the Servery Challenge game

“Freckles”
Serves: 1
Frozen Strawberries
Chocovine
Orange Brandy
Amaretto
Vanilla Extract
Ice
Chocolate Chips for garnish

1. Blend frozen strawberries
2. Blend everything else
3. Garnish with chocolate chips

Speaking of garnish, two-time Servery Challenge winner James Fox (who sailed to victory with his Japanese pagoda and ketchup lake in the Best Structure Made of French Fries Servery Challenge of 2007) once again brings his considerable talents to the table with his “Raspberry Truffle Kerfuffle”, a drink that certainly looks the part.

To be fair, I only own one classy glass.

“Raspberry Truffle Kerfuffle”
Serves: 1
Chocovine
Frozen raspberries
Lindor truffles (floating)
Reese’s Cup (garnish)

1. Blend Raspberries and chocovine
2. ASSEMBLE!

Last, and by no means least, Rachel Kinney, Servery Challenge Veteran, graced us with one of her startling creations the likes of which I have not seen since her abstract food sculpture, “The Wedding Night”, entered into Servery Challenge: Bridal Catering Edition 2009. Inspired by the McNuggetini, Rachel calls her creation “The Squidstache”, although judges began referring to it as “Willy Wonka’s Nightmare” early on in the judging process.

This is the only way you CAN look after trying this drink

“Squidstache”
Serves: No one, hopefully
Chocovine
Wendy’s Frosty
Chocolate Pudding
Caramel Hot Chocolate Mix
Tequila
Other Unspeakable Things
Marshmallows (garnish)
French fries (garnish)

1. Just throw things in!
2. Try not to throw up

Because there was no celebrity guest judge, the contest was put to popular vote for the first time in Servery Challenge history. The process was long and at times disgusting. Mostly just when dealing with Rachel’s, but still.

Annoying Dramatic Recap As Per Reality Show Requirements

Will it be Patricia Ladd's Vampire Blood that, at least, manages to be edible?

Will it be Steven Wiggins' "Freckles" that just tastes kind of like pudding?

Will it be James Fox's "Raspberry Truffle Kerfuffle" with its enterprising use of Reese's Cups?

Or Rachel Kinney's abomination in the eyes of God and science?

Spoiler alert: the winner was Steven. We all decided we kind of liked pudding. James’ won Best Presentation, Rachel’s won Most Innovative, and I won Looking Best In the Pictures. Truly, a Servery Challenge for the ages. And not just because the taste of Rachel’s drink will haunt my tastebuds’ nightmares forever more.