!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Night of the Comet

You seriously do not even know how amazing this is

Night of the Comet is your typical sci-fi disaster post-Apocalyptic zombie movie mixed with a sassy coming of age story all set to a ironically awesome 80′s soundtrack. I was skeptical in the beginning too, but Night of the Comet did not disappoint. Every time I thought it couldn’t get even more awesome, IT FOUND A WAY. Another amazing movie I would never have experienced if Bova hadn’t taken her D3 professor’s derisive comments about its lack of scientific accuracy to heart and ordered it on impulse from Amazon Marketplace. Not only do I think about Bova every time I remember how great this movie was, I also learned from her and it the valuable lesson that impulse purchases of questionable taste are ALWAYS even more amazing than you could ever expect. For instance: the time I rented Santa’s Slay.

2. New linguistic breakthroughs

graspin’ adj.
1. lacking in coolness or basic functionality
2. pathetic
“Ever since my computer got dropped on the floor at O-Week, the screen’s been so graspin’! I can’t even see these lolcats!”

setchy adj.
1. something or someone that is both sketchy and sexy at the same time
2. I am having a hard time thinking of an example of this myself; to me it is more of a theoretical concept than a proven entity. Like the missing link or a Made-for-Sci Fi Channel Original movie with realistic dialogue. Still, if Bova claims to have seen it, I believe her.
“What’s with Steven Wiggin’s mustache? Does he think that’s flattering? Is he trying to be a pirate?” “No, I think he’s trying to be setchy.”

totes jeal adj.
1. totally jealous
“Have you seen how awesome Bova is? I am totes jeal!!!!”

There’s a hole in my bucket phrase
1. Used to describe a state of being when everything seems to go wrong for no discernible reason
2. I actually completely forget what this one means
3. I don’t think it’s meant to be used in an unironic fashion
4. At least I hope
“Meeeerrrrhhhhh there’s a hole in my bucket“

Lesson learned: You can do anything you set your mind to, including irrevocably warping the speech patterns of those around you. I’m sad that I will miss new Bovaglish updates since we’re apart and the next time I see her my version of it will be hopelessly out of date.

3. An appreciation of dramatics

Me: “So tonight I was supposed to meet Steven after work at like 5, and he said he’d call me when he was done. So I drove all the way to Humble and got there at like 5:30 but he still hadn’t called. So I tried to call him for an hour and he never answered. So I got angry and started driving back to Rice in a huff but then half way home started FREAKING OUT that he had gotten into a car accident or was dead somehow and I had spent the last hour leaving him mean voice mail messages. So I turned around and drove back to Humble, parked at the mall, went to the photo place, and asked if Steven was there and she said yes and I said “Tell him his EX girlfriend stopped by” and angrily stormed out and angrily drove home and angrily walked back up to my room and angrily lay on my bed being angry. And then he called at like ten and said he’d just gotten off of work and his phone had died and why was I freaking out so much and I said “If you loved me, you’d be here RIGHT NOW” so now he’s driving here.”

Any other person’s response: “Wow… you are like all kinds of crazy.”

Bova’s response: “AMAZING PATRICIA!!!! That is exactly what I would do!!!! Good job at being dramatic!!!!”

This is why some stories I can only tell to Bova because, rather than tell me I am paranoid or have control issues, she will always agree that the more dramatic and/or romantic something is the better rather than being all judgey and lame.

4. Bitchy Italian Models

This one time, Bova and I took Italian 101 for some reason that probably neither of us remember. One of our projects was to write a lengthy conversation to perform in front of the class using our limited Italian 101 vocabularies, which mostly consisted of describing how people looked. Rather than be lame and just have endless monologues about our families, Bova and I decided to be contestants on Italia’s Next Top Model (actual name of the actual show) and constantly bitch about how ugly each other was.

I've never seen an episode of Italia's Next Top Model, but I assume our conversation piece was what 85% of the real dialogue is like

I don’t remember a lot of the details of the assignment, just a lot of shouting of “IO SONO ITALIA’S NEXT TOP MODEL!” which to this day remains the only thing I remember how to say in Italian. Which is probably all I would ever have to know when going to Italy anyway. Thanks, Bova!!!

5. The Wiess Garage Sale/becoming hobos

At the end of last year, a lot of us realized we owned perfectly serviceble plastic drawers, appliances, bikes, costumes, board games, lawn chairs, hats, ukuleles, and scrolling marquee belt buckles that, sadly, we would have no chances to use again after Rice. To facilitate a mutually beneficial transfer of goods and to stop the bitching, I organized the first ever Wiess Garage Sale. Unfortunately, the twenty or so people I talked to who said they had stuff to sell utterly failed to show up, so it was just Bova and I with our possessions strewn across the acabowl like homeless waifs. If I had been with anyone else, it would have been awkward, but since it was Bova we were still bringing the classy.

Bringing the classy, and an umbrella

And we sold most of our stuff to the disappointed masses thanks to my haggling skills and Bova’s ability to sweeten the bargain by throwing in whatever happened to be lying around.

Okay, so we actually sold almost everything to Rachel Liontas, whatever

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even though there are 12 million more amazing things about Bova, five is a good number to have in a list so I will stop there.

Secret Bonus Reason Number 6 is that she owns at least two tiaras

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOVA!!!!!

Blockbuster Guy: I have the Collector’s Edition of this.
Me: Cool!
Blockbuster Guy: Yeah, and the Jareth action figure.
Me: Of course you have the Jareth action figure.
Blockbuster Guy: This movie is so awesome… it even makes me forgive David Bowie for trying to act.
Me: He was SO acting! He changed tight pants in like every scene! Just when you think there are no more tight pants in the world for David Bowie to wear, HE FINDS SOME!
Blockbuster Guy: I mean… if you’re into that.
Steven: I am already having doubts about the goodness of this movie.

Anyway, Steven learned a valuable lesson about goblins and I made friends with a Blockbuster employee (current life goal), so I feel that, despite a waffle lack, it was a night well spent. But that leaves me with nothing to write about today (besides Blockbuster employees). So, I have decided to help others. Sigh.

The Adventures of Cynthia Bova
As an integral part of THE 434, Bova’s blog is maybe my blog’s sister, or at least some kind of hot cousin. We originally battled for supremacy, but eventually decided that the Internet was big enough for us to coexist. She writes more about her personal life than I do (I only write about mine when it is AWESOME, which is often, so that’s okay) but definitely holds the market share on exclamation point use. My paltry attempts at Bova-levels of punctuation excitement don’t even come close. Also, it’s Bova. Come on.

NASCAR News
My cousin maybe knows too much about NASCAR, to the point where sometimes I don’t understand anything when he talks. Last time I visited, I asked if a NASCAR anchor was what he wanted to be when he grew up, and he gave me this withering look and said, “I am one already.” Clearly. I don’t know what I was thinking. Anyway, despite not understanding the content at all, I still think his videos are super cute, especially when Mr. Biffle, his dog, or Patricia Ladd, his intrepid cousin, are guest anchors. I can’t wait to say that I knew him when he was producing videos in his garage.

Andrew Coffin Fox’s Kind of Emo Extravaganza of Amazingness!!!!!!!
Andrew is apparently really bad at coming up with titles to draw people in (“Andrew Coffin Fox’s Blog”?) so I helped him out here a little. I know, so much with the helping people. I’ll probably have to skip class to go lie down after this. Andrew is one of the infamous Brothers Fox and may or may not be a time traveler (he always denies it when I mention it; that was my first clue). Sometimes it seems like he’s trying to become a modern day Emily Dickinson, but other times there are comics!! Both are good times. Also, the tales of his epic struggle with his arch nemesis, the University of New Hampshire Academic Calendar! One day, Andrew, one day you will prevail. And look! Even though I bet he will never read this (not everyone is generous and amazing and good at wasting time like me), I’m not even saying anything bad about him. THAT’s helping others right there.

Came to my Senses & I chilled for a bit
We all know about my love for Alex Crompton. Naturally I assume that anyone who can run for SA president on the platform that he’s a better kisser than the other candidates has to have amazing post-college adventures. Unfortunately, he does not update enough so I am forced to imagine what he is doing, which is pretty much just as exciting. If he ever does update, I am sure I will be vindicated in thinking that he is becoming pale and tragic in a Parisian cafe trying to win the affections of a deaf Bulgarian immigrant girl while playing the accordion for change in the echoing tiled tunnels of the city Metro. If not, why not?

Okay. I need to go take someone’s seat on the bus to balance myself out.