Gob goes to work with the Bluth Company’s competitor, although they may or may not be after him to win against the Bluth company in an upcoming softball game.
Queen for a Day
Some Bluth stock is finally unfrozen, but it’s important not to sell so that they retain control of the company. Unfortunately, no one listens, including Michael, who buys a corvette. Tobias buys a gay night club called The Queen Mary and converts a gang into being dancers (really they were the Hot Cops posing as a gang). He ends up getting stabbed after trying this on a real gang. The Bluths do lose control of the company to Lucille 2, who says she bought the stock because she wants to support them, but then decides to maintain control to get back at Lucille 1.
Michael awkwardly tries to get with his childhood crush, Sally Sitwell, daughter of Stan Sitwell, the Bluth company’s main competitor. After finally hearing that her father approves of the match, Michael swaps his corvette with him for the money to buy Sally at the annual bachelorette auction, but she isn’t pysched about having her dad’s approval and turns him down. George Sr. installs a hot tub in the model home’s attic and instantly regrets it.
Ready, Aim, Marry Me!
Michael is convinced that majority-holder Lucille 2 and Stan Sitwell are colluding against the company (really they are just in love). He calls in his dad’s friend “Uncle Jack” (not really their uncle) to try to bail them out, but his condition is a romantic date with Lindsay. Michael goes on a romantic date with Tobias to keep him from finding out, and Gob and Buster use army training and magic to spy on Lucille 2 because they are both secretly in love with her.
Out on a Limb
Michael learns that Maggie Lizer, whom he slept with 9 months ago, is 9 months pregnant. He gets Tobias and Lindsay to break into her house, steal her urine, and test it. It comes back positive, so he assumes that 1) she’s telling the truth (she isn’t), and 2) he’s really the father (he’s not, and she tells him he’s not). Buster swims in the ocean before being shipped off to Iraq, and gets his hand bitten off by a seal wearing a bow tie.
Hand to God
Buster deals with losing his hand. Michael discovers that Maggie is NOT pregnant with his baby, but is acting as a surrogate for a gay police couple. They think she might be trying to keep their kid. Surprise! She’s not really pregnant at all. She outsourced it to a local waitress, who is using the pregnancy to pretend to be fat to sue the restaurant where she works. Gay policemen get their baby in the end.
This bunch is kind of a mix for me: I like the two episodes about Maggie a lot, but I absolutely hate Ready, Aim, Marry Me! because Uncle Jack is gross.
Rating: Three out of five jars of chocolate body paint
Kill/Fuck/Marry: Kill Uncle Jack because he’s disgusting. Fuck Sally Sitwell because I like her hair. Marry either or both of the gay policemen because they seem really sweet and have maybe the healthiest relationship on this entire show.
Honestly, this run had a lot of iffy episodes for me. I love the Maggie focus, and the Buster hand-loss sequences are fun, but Michael and Tobias in particular kept irritating me and throwing me out of the enjoyment-bubble. Uncle Jack gets a pass out of me because 1) I’m pretty sure it’s a silly sendup of Jack Lalanne, and 2) it’s Martin Short! (How can you not love Martin Short?)
Rating: Three out of five loose seals.
Kill/Fuck/Marry: Kill Michael, like a dozen times. It was a close contest between him and Tobias, as both of them are royal idiots for most of this disc, but I can’t help but expect ridiculous antics out of Tobias. Michael, on the other hand, needs to grow a pair like pronto. Fuck Maggie, because she’s clearly got it going on (hard to choose between her and Sally, admittedly). Marry Stan Sitwell, because this may be the most genuine (and also successful) male figure in the entire series.