Girl With the Dragon Tattoo: Pop Lit Fail

About a year ago I read a book called Why We Read What We Read: A Delightfully Opinionated Journey Through Bestselling Books. I found the analysis interesting, but even more interesting was the fact that I had read almost none of them. Sure, as an English major you’re not allowed to read anything popular within the last one hundred years, but considering my career path and the amount I read, you’d think I would be more familiar with these titles. Sure, I’ve read Harry Potter and Twilight, but I’ve never read a single James Patterson novel. This may be why I’m kind of grasping at straws with this:

Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

Clearly I’m way out of touch with the American reading public, because I cannot see the appeal. Granted, I’m only about 80 pages in. So far, it has been painstakingly slow, and mostly about Swedish finances. I don’t really like any of the characters, but I don’t really hate them either. I don’t have emotions about them, but that’s okay because they seem to rarely have emotions themselves. About anything. Someone JUST mentioned a murder, so I’m still debating keeping going. I’m not sure even a possible murder could save this from unrelenting boredom. Everyone tells me it gets good half-way through, but I’m not sure I’m willing to make the effort to get that far.

Which really surprises me. Maybe I’m losing patience with everything else that’s going on, but it surprises me that so many people enjoyed this book when it takes so long to get interesting. From my years reading terrible, over-described literature, I’m keenly aware how to read an incredibly boring book to get through it, and consider myself somewhat good at it, but maybe everyone else is way better at it than I am, because I literally have been procrastinating reading this book by doing work for grad school and that’s an awful sign.

Maybe I will keep trying this weekend. After I clean the apartment. And do all of my work for next week. And there are no other books in the house.

Banned Books 2010: Baby Be-Bop

To kick off my exciting new hobby, I decided to read the book whose entry on the ALA Challenged Book List confused me the most. Here it is in full:

Baby Be-Bop by Francesca Lia Block
Harper Collins
Four Wisconsin men belonging to the Christian Civil Liberties Union (CCLU) sought $30,000 apiece for emotional distress they suffered from the West Bend, Wis. Community Memorial Library (2009) for displaying a copy of the book. The claim states that “specific words used in the book are derogatory and slanderous to all males” and “the words can permeate violence and put one’s life in possible jeopardy, adults and children alike.” The CCLU called for the public burning of this title. Four months later, the library board unanimously voted 9-0 to maintain, “without removing, relocating, labeling, or otherwise restricting access,” this and other books challenged in the young adult section at the West Bend Community Memorial Library.

Here were the two parts that stood out to me the first time I saw this:

$30,000 apiece
public burning

$30,000?? Because the book was on display?? I can hear what you’re thinking. “What ‘specific words’? What can be worth $30,000 just if you happen to glance at it??? This book has got to be straight smut. That deserves to be publicly burned, like a witch or a Beatles record.”

Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you my friend. The words

$30,000 apiece

and

public burning

totally got my hopes up. This book did maybe not deserve either of these. Here is the basic plot, although, as a very lyrical novella, the word “plot” is used loosely:

Dirk McDonald knows that he’s gay. He’s known since he was young, when the carefree grandmother who raised him tells him it’s just a phase. He has a crush on his best friend Pup, but their relationship ends when Pup starts to date girls to hide his growing attraction to Dirk. “I love you, Dirk, but I can’t handle it.” Dirk lashes out, hiding his fear at himself and the seemingly cruel world around him by building himself an armor of punk rock persona and losing himself in music and violent dancing. Then one night after he tells some skinheads what he thinks about their swastika tattoos, he gets beaten up. Thus begins the much weirder second part of the book, where, in a weird dream/coma state Dirk’s great grandmother appears and tells him her story, and the story of his grandmother, and of his parents, two beat poets who “let go of life” one night in a car accident. Then at the end of the dream a genie appears and tells him about a man named Duck who, we’re supposed to presume, is his future love interest and reason to cling to life.

Aaaand that plot description was about five times racier than the book actually is. It’s only about 100 pages, and most of that is lyrical description. He doesn’t even say the word “gay” until he admits it to a ghost/hallucination of his father on page 86. There’s no sex, certainly nothing described graphically. Dirk mostly contents himself with yearningly thinking about kissing or just not being alone all the time. The word “faggot” is used a few times, mostly by the skinheads who beat him into unconsciousness. So I can’t really decide what “specific words” are “slanderous to all males”, especially if the people objecting and demanding $30,000 for emotional damage didn’t read the book carefully but only glanced through it since it was on display. Unless ladybugs and butterflies are slanderous to all men, because there WAS an awful lot of bug metaphors. Oh, and symbolic dancing. And beat poetry. So, yeah, public burning totes justified.

Seriously, I can’t even really find any “juicy parts” to quote. Unless you count this passage from the beginning, which is something he imagines while playing with his toy trains:

“He was on a train with the fathers–all naked and cookie-colored and laughing. There under the blasts of warm water spurting from the walls as the train moved slick through the land. All the bunching calf muscles dripping water and biceps full of power comforted Dirk. He tried to see his own father’s face but there was always too much steam.”

Later, he dreams of the same train, but instead of water coming out of the shower heads, it’s deadly, deadly gas. There’s a light sprinkling of anti-Nazism running through the book which seems slightly strange just because it remains unelaborated upon. I liked the language of this book. I was able to read it in about an hour, and it was almost like reading poetry. I was afraid it was going to be an angsty typical teen-problem novel, and, although the themes were similar, it had a very light touch, the exact opposite of the usual heavy-handed teen problem fare.

The worst I can say about it is the cover’s kind of blah:

Banned Books 2010: My New Hobby

To give myself a hobby besides complaining about the irrelevance of grad school, I’ve decided to read every book (well, almost every book) on the ALA’s bibliography of banned and challenged books from May 2009-May 2010. This list, which they’re showcasing for Banned Books Week, is slightly arbitrary, in that it only includes titles written up within the year in Newsletter on Intellectual Freedom, but any banned books list is going to be somewhat arbitrary, as it will only discuss reported instances. I’m going to concentrate on the ones which were challenged in public libraries, since that’s my area of interest, and because I find the morality of most school-challengings somewhat murkier. If someone (usually a parent) wants to restrict all children who may or may not share their own beliefs from access to information, I can listen to their objections, go through the process, and generally fight censorship like the idealistic librarian I am. It’s when students are forced to read certain titles in class that I am slightly more uncomfortable. I personally can’t picture myself ever getting uppity over a required text, but I can understand the motivations of people who do. They just want what they think is best for their kids–as opposed to the public library cases, where they just want what they think is best for everyone’s kids. Natch I also don’t agree with helicopter parents constantly overriding teachers’ authority and judgement, and I’m happy to see that in a lot of instances discussed on this year’s list, everyone was content after alternative titles were made available if students decided to choose them instead.

A few titles on the list were challenged because parents thought that they were too easy for minors to get their hands on them on the library shelves. These include:

Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort
Sex for Busy People: the Art of the Quickie for Lovers on the Go by Emily Dubberly
Lesbian Karma Sutra by Kat Harding
Mastering Multiple Position Sex by Eric Garrison
The Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein

In most of these cases, the library involved decided to implement special library cards for minors which would only allow children to check out restricted titles with parents’ permission rather than remove the books from their catalog. I’m sorry to report that I will not be reading these titles as part of the challenge, partially because my library owns only Joy of Sex for whatever reason, partially because of the massive Check Out Embarrassment Factor (no, librarians are not immune), and also because I am way more interested in the children’s/YA titles on the list. Also, I will not be looking at:

Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary, which was “pulled from the Menifee, California Union School District [this year] because a parent complained when a child came across the term ‘oral sex’. Officials said the district is forming a committee to consider a permanent classroom ban of the dictionary.”

Maybe it’s been awhile since these people were kids, because I’m shocked that they can’t remember that looking up dirty words is practically what the dictionary is for until you start studying for the SATs and need to know what adjuration means.

Anyway, I’m sure I will think up other credible excuses why I can’t read things as this project progresses. Each review will include a brief summary, why it was challenged, if I think it really should have been, and a mostly fabricated list of other reasons why I think the book might offend you (including awful cover art). I will try to include quotes of the juicy parts so you don’t even have to read it for yourself to find them!

Last School Year Ever: Why My Week Has Sucked

Sorry about not posting yesterday; this week has been like a perfect storm of small amounts of tragedy that mix together to make a Long Island Iced Tea of despair.

–The bus route is going through its awkward teenage years, trying to reinvent itself, but remaining confused and unsure of what its peer group wants. At least, that’s how I’m interpreting its persistent, erratic behavior. The first day it was just massively late every time I tried to ride it, which is not that surprising on the first week of school. Then one afternoon at a random stop in the middle of the route, the bus driver told everyone to get off because she was done. It wasn’t an off-shift kind of thing–those happen at the end of the line–and we were all forced to wait FORTY MINUTES for the next bus–the two that should have come in the intervening time apparently having stopped off somewhere for after-school aperitifs. Or the happy times when the bus mysteriously fails to change direction at noon as it should, and I am forced to walk in a pack of my disconsolate cohorts along the side of the road. Walking in the sweaty, sweaty heat is kind of annoying, but not the end of the world. However, it’s throwing havoc to my carefully balanced schedule.

–My advisor is going on sabbatical the semester I’m supposed to be writing my Master’s Paper. Since I’m “aggressively competent” this will probably not adversely affect me to the extent it may some people, but it still means that I will 1) have to do a lot more work more quickly and 2) plead my case to the few remaining professors who care about things like public libraries or books way more aggressively than should be necessary. I mean, whose idea was it to only have two professors who are remotely interested in children and teens? I’m feeling the love.

–Once again, my classes only have vague relevance to my future career path. After yet another summer spent working in an actual library doing what I actually plan to pursue, this is even more aggravating than before.

–Our apartment is broken. We haven’t been able to use the shower for two days. Since Steven was going on one of his “if I wash my hair too much it’ll fall out” kicks even before that, it is a smelly, smelly world.

–Everything I eat or drink lately has a weird metallic taste. It took me forever to realize that I’m not dying of arsenic poisoning and that it’s just our dishwasher not washing the soap entirely off our dishes.

–I finished Hunger Games in like five hours yesterday and, despite loftily thinking myself immune to pop-lit trends, am now desperate to read the sequels. My choices are: wait three months on the library request list with all the other teen girls or pay money. I am in an agony of anti-BigBoxBookStore, cheapskate, frantic teen girl indecision.

–Steven keeps beating me at our jury rigged two-person version of Settlers of Catan. My honor is furious.

Hopefully I will at least be able to sort out the last two today.

Last School Year Ever: The Pregame

So, if all goes as planned, this should be my last school year ever. I am super excited. 18 years straight is too long to spend writing papers, dealing with group project drama, and researching things I don’t care about and will never use. I’m looking at you, ENGL 326. Is it hard to go back? Yes. Luckily, I’ve got the drill down and know just how to get pumped for Last School Year Ever.

Step 1: Supplies
Clearly school supplies are a major factor into determining your daily mood, not to mention who in class is the coolest. Remember how long it took to pick out even one spiral notebook in elementary school? Especially if you were totally obsessive like me and had to make sure it coordinated with your trapper keeper. Too many grad students forget the importance of cheerful, exciting school supplies and go with cheap, plain composition notebooks, not realizing that it will make every day in class taking notes completely boring. Well, not me. Not this year. After a grueling 15-minute decision process at Target’s school supply aisle, I decided on this one:

I wanted one that was all glitter, but a 12-year-old beat me to the last one

I literally cannot wait for the first day of class to take JUICY GOSSIP library science notes. Meghan has suggested that I forget the whole notes thing and turn it into my very own Burn Book, but she clearly hasn’t realized the way I take notes.

Also, for holding copies of syllabi and important papers:

A sparkly cupcake folder. Only the best.

I am one sparkly feather pen away from being the best grad student ever.

Step 2: Fortify your strength
I suggest this recipe:

1. Buy some chicken and salsa.
2. Put them in a crockpot!
3. Cook for 3-4 hours.
4. Serve over rice!

I call it "Salsa Chicken". Super tasty!

Step 3: Celebrate!
Nothing puts you in a celebration mood like vaguely literary wine on clearance at Harris Teeter!

Turns out, there was a reason it was on clearance

Dream Interpretation #2

Dream #1
I dreamt that Taylor Johnson and two other guys I didn’t know burst into my apartment with guns and demanded all of our valuables. I tried to explain to Taylor and his friends—whom he insisted were his new street gang despite the fact that they were wearing polo shirts and had really gelled hair—that I didn’t have any valuables, but he didn’t listen. Then Steven distracted him by exhaustively telling him the plot of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode (which he will actually do in real life also, especially when we are out with normal people, I think because he enjoys being kicked under the table) while I ran in the other room to call the police. For some reason, the woman on the other end wanted me to describe their outfits in minute detail, and when I finally got back, Taylor’s “gang” had loaded up our “valuables” in a bunch of cardboard boxes. Most of the boxes contained kick boards and dice, so I was okay with that, but for some reason when they started piling up my cookbooks, I was ready to FIGHT TO THE DEATH. Then Taylor sighed and said, “Well, I guess since we were sort of friends in college or whatever I will just buy them off you” and gave me $20.

Interpretation:
Taylor Johnson clearly represents THE PAST and his attempts to steal boxes of things that may or may not be my possessions represent my letting go of past relationships/places/memories. The kick boards probably represent me trying to Make It On My Own without any helpful crutches like parents or equally mothering educational institutions (Rice had MAID SERVICE, what was that about?). The dice probably represents me giving up a gambling habit so repressed that even I don’t know about it.

Dream #2
I was dogsitting for some unknown person who lived in the middle of the country and owned two houses right next to each other. The dog was maybe a small bear and could talk. It demanded that I cook it elaborate meals while it watched reruns of “Friends”. When I finally got it to go to bed, I went to the smaller of the two houses to take a shower. SUDDENLY I was chased out of the house and around the yard by a swarm of deadly, deadly bees, finally escaping into the larger house where the dog helped me secure all the doors and windows. The rest of the dream was the dog and I plotting how to sneak into the other house while the bees were distracted so that I could retrieve my shampoo because, in the dream, it was apparently my most valuable possession.

Interpretation:
I care too much about my hair. And have started to internalize all the Clifford I deal with at work.

Seriously, if this dog were real, it would only be interested in rampaging, not cuddling.

Rhett and Link

Whenever I have to send on a book to Fuquay-Varina at the library, I imagine it’s going to Rhett and Link (the only people I’ve ever heard who live in Fuquay-Varina). If my wild assumptions are correct, they are prolific and erratic readers.

Weekend Book Roundup: The Lost Conspiracy and Skulduggery Pleasant

This weekend was pretty awesome as far as books go. First I read:

The Lost Conspiracy by Frances Hardinge

The Lost Conspiracy by Frances Hardinge

Which I decided to read since I liked Fly By Night so much. As always, Hardinge’s world-building is superb, this time bringing us to the island of Gullstruck, covered in jungles and slave to the whims of its many volcanoes. From many of the native tribes on the island come the peculiar Lost, a group of people whose senses are not tied to their bodies and who can therefore send their sight or hearing drifting miles away from them at will. Hathin thinks she occupies one of the lowliest places in this world in her starving village, one of the hated and feared Lace Tribe. It’s her job to make sure no one ever finds out that her sister, Arilou, famed as the only Lost among the Lace, is not really Lost at all, but “wander-witted”. Or is she? This point becomes especially murky when all of the other Lost mysteriously die at the same time one night, and everyone blames the Lace and Arilou in particular. Hathin and Arilou flee their village to trek all over Gullstruck fleeing their enemies (an evil traveling dentist; racial prejudice) and amassing allies (a group of revenge-seekers; an elephant bird; a governor who’s a little too obsessed with sacrificing ridiculous things to his ancestors, like soap; volcanoes). I don’t think I identified with the characters as much as in Fly By Night but the sense of place was well worth the read.

You should read this book if:
1) You sometimes feel totally invisible in favor of a sibling
2) You like your messages about racial prejudice in an exciting format
3) Sentient volcanoes!

Next up:

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy


I liked this, but I also felt like the book I was reading was three drafts away from being complete and I would like the final copy a lot better. This is the first in a series, so maybe I should read the sequel and see how I feel. Basically, Stephanie is a normal 12-year-old when her uncle dies suddenly and leaves her his house and fortune. It’s there that she meets some men who are trying to kill her for unclear reasons and one of her uncle’s old friends named Skulduggery Pleasant. He’s a mage, private detective, and skeleton. They end up on a quest through Dublin’s magical underbelly to save the world from an evil maniac sorcerer who wants to use your basic Magical Doomsday Device to bring back Evil Ancient Gods Who Want to Destroy Humanity. The Good Part: Skulduggery Pleasant is pretty bitchin. The Bad Part: Stephanie is the main character. It’s generally a good choice to not write a book from the point of view of your most kickass character, but you can tell that Landy really, really wants to, to the point where you have something I’m titling the “Watson-Holmes Effect”. Holmes is clearly the superstar of that pairing, until the point where Watson is hardly even a character anymore in terms of plot, but rather someone who can remark often about how great Holmes is. Also, Stephanie is annoying. I can’t tell if I would have thought so when I was in this book’s target age group or not, but I think so. She’s the particular kind of irritating that some people think makes them sound precocious and mature. Also, there is a point where you can have TOO MUCH banter (shocking, I know).

You should read this book if:
1) Terry Pratchett’s books about Death are your favorite
2) You are all about unattributed dialogue
3) You have always dreamed of choosing your own name

OH RIGHT. That’s the other thing. So in this world, you have three names. The name you were born with, which you probably don’t know but would recognize on some unconscious level, the name you were given, what your parents named you, and the name you chose. A fake name you made up that protects your other two names from being used in spells against you. The name is also supposed to be some kind of reflection of who you are deep inside or something. Hence Skulduggery Pleasant, Nefarian Serpine, China Sorrows, Mr. Bliss, Ghastly Bespoke etc. Guess which one is the bad guy. And when dear Stephanie finally gets around to choosing one for herself: Valkyrie Cain. I bet there are real people out there named Valkyrie, but I also would be unable to take them seriously. Unless they were also a Warrior Mage Princess Sparklpire Unicorn-Riding French-Speaker. Who was a mermaid.

However, on the plus side, I cannot stop thinking about ridiculous things I should name myself. You know, if Pladd is out.

Book Review: Kids’ Letters to Harry Potter

I can’t decide how I feel about one of the books I checked out this weekend, Bill Adler’s Kids’ Letters to harry Potter from Around the World:
And yet there's not a "Kids' Letters to Lady Orville"

On the one hand, I think the idea of publishing random letters children write to anyone is awesome, double points for fictional characters, but I also think Bill Adler handled it sort of weirdly. My main gripe is that interspersed throughout the letters in the book were random black and white drawings of Random Fantasy Creatures 24-37 from Lisa Frank‘s An October of Orcs collection. Since they didn’t even remotely resemble Harry Potter characters/creatures, I began to suspect that someone deep in the production process of this book was only vaguely aware of what Harry Potter is actually about.

In all, there were about three kinds of letters in this book. Here are some examples I made up just now:

Letter Type 1: The Compulsive Questioner
Dear Harry,
How are you? How are Ron and Hermione? Tell them Hi from me. How is Professor Dumbledore? How is Hagrid? Are the Dursleys still being mean to you? Is Snape still taking points away from Gryffindor? Have you taught Neville to remember the common room passwords yet? Have you heard from Sirius? How are Fred and George? How did you feel when [insert plot of an entire Harry Potter book of your choice]? Please write back soon with the answers to my questions!
Sincerely,
Inquisitive Child

PS: Sorry I couldn’t send this by owl. My owl’s broken.

Letter Type 2: The Stalker
Dear Harry,
How has your summer been? I hope the Dursleys aren’t locking you in your room again and that you can spend time with Ron and his family. You don’t even know who I am!!! My name is Megan and I’m a muggle from America. You are probably wondering how I even know you! Don’t worry about it.
Were you scared when Professor Trelawney predicted your death? Why don’t you just quit like Hermione? I like Hermione best because she is smart and amazing, just like me. You are my second favorite, though. Are four poster beds comfortable? Does Neville snore? How annoying does that get? You are probably wondering how I know all this about you, but don’t worry, I don’t spy on you at school or anything.
Saving your toenail clippings,
Stalker Child

PS: Sorry I couldn’t send this by owl. I’ll just leave it on your pillow.

Letter Type 3: The Fanfiction Sorceress
Dear Harry,
How are you? I’m fine. My muggle name is Anne, but I am really a very powerful sorceress named Zenella Araminta Arabellanna. I have long silver hair and sparkling blue eyes. I always wear beautiful blue dresses and silver shoes to match my hair and my eyes change color when I have different emotions, or just to match my clothes. I go to school at a wizard academy you probably haven’t heard of. It flies around in the air, and we all ride dragons to class. I am Head Girl and also Captain of my Quidditch Team where I am a seeker just like you. I am part mermaid and also part veela! Do you have any pets? I have a pet unicorn and a pet phoenix. Their names are Midnight Shadows and Sky Dancer. Maybe I will be an exchange student to Hogwarts soon and I will meet you. We will have to play Quidditch against each other!! I will probably beat you, but then we can go on a date.
Perfectly Yours,
Mary Sue

PS: Sorry I couldn’t send this by owl. My owl died. I think Sky Dancer and Midnight Shadows ate it for being too normal.

Middle School Patricia Memorial Weekend

I talk a lot about Middle School Patricia. How she was convinced she would one day turn her fanfiction into The World’s Greatest Novel. How she consistently cited her allergy to Winter Mist Body spray (and other, similarly absurdly titled perfumes) as the sole reason she was not The Most Popular Girl In School. Her crush on EVERY BOY while simultaneously believing herself So Superior to all of them. However, while these are all mostly true, I think they get the most face time because they’re also the angsty, ridiculous image of what a 13-year-old girl is supposed to be. Except maybe blaming sneezing fits for lack of popularity. That one may have been all me.

Anyway, this weekend I decided to celebrate the lesser known aspects of Middle School Patricia when I was at Harris Teeter and found myself staring at the packets of Lipton/Knorr’s Pasta Sides. That is why they are number 1 on my list of things Middle School Patricia likes.
1. Pasta Sides

Actually, the Sesame Thai Noodle one was the best

Actually, the Sesame Thai Noodle one was the best


These are basically like Rice-A-Roni, but with noodles. As such they are supremely easy to make; you just add water and put it in the microwave for 12 minutes. For some reason, they were my favorite lunch/dinner ever. Maybe because at the time the only things I could make on my own were sandwiches, Campbell’s soup, and these things. I also remember this one time my mom was telling me to lose weight and yelled, “Those noodles you like so much? They are supposed to feed A FAMILY OF FOUR!” And so I vowed never to eat them again and hurled into another spiral of self-doubt and anti-self-esteem with the words “A FAMILY OF FOUR” echoing through my head. Of course, as a 14-year-old, I already assumed that I was A) the fattest/ugliest person that had ever lived and that B) everyone who saw me was secretly talking and laughing about it, so naturally this did not help.

This weekend I bought some for maybe the first time since then, rationalizing that sharing it with Steven would get over the whole A FAMILY OF FOUR stigma. It was only then that I realized that, yes, it was supposed to feed A FAMILY OF FOUR but as a small side, meaning that my years of eating it for supper by itself were probably not The Most Shameful Thing I Have Ever Done. I did not, in fact, have a stomach the size of A FAMILY OF FOUR. Not that they are the healthiest thing ever either, but I’m glad I can stop stressing about that.

2. David Eddings’ Novels

Most of the cover art seems to be constructed from an album of Generic Fantasy ClipArt 1992

Most of the cover art seems to be constructed from an album of Generic Fantasy ClipArt 1992


Allegedly, David Eddings started writing fantasy because he was shocked that The Lord of the Rings was still around, and many of his books were bestsellers. Looking back, I have no idea why I was obsessed with these books in middle school. Sure, they take place on a fantasy world, and some of the characters are sorcerers, but all of the books sort of sound the same. An ordinary farm boy discovers his aunt is really a sorceress and they go on a quest to save a magical stone. Spoiler alert: he is really the descendant of a long-lost king whose destiny it is to fight an evil god. There’s 10 books about Garion in all, and my overwhelming memory of all of them is riding horses through the rain. Eddings’ women also all seem to be variations on the same theme of Women Are Mysterious and Kind of Bitchy. Maybe they’re meant to be empowered? He’s pretty good at world-building, including giving all the different races complex histories, although sometimes it gets slightly annoying how everyone from Sendaria is practical or how Tolnedrans only care about money. Sometimes the writing is also pretty repetitive, but, since Steven and I are reading them aloud to each other, we’ve devised several quick fixes to break that up:
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