Archive for February, 2016

Sailor Senshi Attacks: Ranked

Sailor Moon attacks are ridiculous. You just shout a bunch of random English words, and your enemies explode in a fit of hearts/sparkles/butterflies. I love it. But which Sailor attack is the best? Here’s your answer:

33. Star Gentle Uterus
gentleuterus

This is the worst Sailor Senshi attack and the inspiration for this list. It belongs to Sailor Star Maker, and I don’t care what it does, the word “uterus” (and also “gentle”) shouldn’t be in your attack name.

32. Twinkle Yell
twinkleyell

This is a Sailor Chibi-Moon move, where she rings a magical bell to summon Pegasus to give Sailor Moon the power to defeat the enemy. So it’s not even really an attack so much as a fancy, less-useful cellphone.

31. Pink Sugar Heart Attack
pinksugarheart

Sailor Chibi-Moon’s other “attack” just kind of annoys the enemy briefly.

30. Venus Love and Beauty Shock
loveandbeautyshock

This Sailor Venus move involves her blowing a kiss and then throwing hearts at the enemy. Pretty much a hyped up version of Pink Sugar Heart Attack.

29. Moon Tiara Stardust
moontiarastardust

This Sailor Moon move can heal a lot of zombies at once, so it’s not so much an attack. Also, it’s only ever used once.

28. Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss
silvermoonpower

These things are not threatening, Sailor Moon. I’m sorry. A “power kiss” sounds like the weirdest work out move ever, and this attack involves so much more weird posing than the others, if that’s even possible. Also the sound effects for this one are the weirdest.

27. Jupiter Oak Evolution
oakevolution
Sailor Jupiter twirls around and throws leaves at you! Run in fear, Sailor Galactica!

26. Bubble Spray
bubblespray
This move fills the nearby area with bubbles to confuse the enemy. It’s good at that! But…

25. Moon Princess Halation
halation1
halation2
What the fuck is a halation
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