Etsy for Rich People: Holidays

Since Easter is coming up, I thought it would be appropriate to check out the most expensive things you can buy on Etsy in the “Holiday” category. Maybe it’ll get you into a festive spirit.

First up, Birthdays which offers us this $1,850 custom flag:

I assume they want you to get one with your face on it

I assume they want you to get one with your face on it

Halloween has a fairly predictable entry offering to make your dream outfit for $5000. The best example they gave was this:

Apparently she wanted a wedding dress that incorporated her horse's hair. As you do

Apparently she wanted a wedding dress that incorporated her horse’s hair. As you do

Valentine’s Day, also pretty standard, with this $800 brooch:

I was hoping for at least a gold cupid statue

I was hoping for at least a gold cupid statue

The most expensive item I found was this $13,999 menorah in the Hanukkah category. Made of silver, gold plating, and Jerusalem stone and shipped from Israel:

A bargain!

A bargain!

The same seller claimed both the St. Patrick’s and Thanksgiving categories with these custom made wreaths:

This one's $549 and you can see why

This one’s $549 and you can see why

Apparently there’s such a high demand for these artistic works that you have to preorder months in advance:

So you better jump on this turkey right now

So you better jump on this turkey right now

For a mere $5000 you can buy this “art piece” made of different photographs of the Basilica de Virgen Guadalupe. Apparently this has something to do with Day of the Dead:

I don't know enough about Day of the Dead to be sure

I don’t know enough about Day of the Dead to be sure

Speaking of art that probably isn’t related to the category it’s found in, look what’s waiting for you in New Year’s! It’s this $1600 pineapple embroidery!

Can you really put a price on art?

Can you really put a price on art?

Meanwhile, over at Independence Day, we have some art you can wear: “scarves of jewels bead scarves.” It looks like you’re paying $449 to be hella uncomfortable, but what do I know:

Apparently as seen on "The Chew"

Apparently as seen on “The Chew”

I know you’ve been waiting for Easter, and you won’t be disappointed. $2150 giant fiberglass egg!

You want it

You want it

I saved my favorite for last. If you’re a rich person searching for Christmas things on Etsy, you can’t go wrong with this undeniably Christmasy “VENUS dress“:

Celebrate the birth of your lord in style!

Celebrate the birth of your lord in style!

It’s $3500 if you buy this one, or $4000 if you want one made to your measurements. But that’s a steal because it’s made out of “handpainted lamb leather” and “is unique, one of a kind dress existing in the world.” There, I’ve solved your Christmas shopping for you in April. You’re welcome.

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