Spam Report: December 2012

Last Spam report of 2012! What with vacation and my internet freaking out, I ended up leaving my spam folder alone for about 2 weeks! Until this morning, when I checked and saw that I had 487 new messages. What can I say, spambots love me. So, after a laborious culling process, I bring you these:

On my NaNoWriMo post:

Michael writes:

It’s a slow news day because there’s nnthiog new on the Paris Hilton front.I think the major media organizations would fry a fuse if an atom bomb went off from a terrorist in New York AT THE SAME TIME that Paris was being let out of jail.It would probably be resolved by stand-by cameras at Paris’ jail, with brief interruptions for news on the attack.

I can only assume Michael is trying to give me ideas for next year’s NaNoWriMo. Sorry, Michael, but scathing social commentary on the state of the media is so 2008.

Sundance writes:

My problem was a wall until I read this, then I smsahed it.

I love this metaphor, Sundance, and the way I am now envisioning you as some kind of angry Wario character. I don’t know what kind of problems my NaNoWriMo bragging post helped you solve, but I’m guessing boredom, since it takes a good while to get through Mazelandia.

On my Hobbit Review post:

Omar Scoggins writes:

The next time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as significantly as this one. I mean, I do know it was my option to learn, even so I really thought youd have 1 thing interesting to say. All I hear is really a bunch of whining about something that you could repair when you werent too busy seeking for attention.

Whatever, Omar. You’re entitled to your own opinion, and you’re probably right that if I took the time to slog through The Silmarillion I wouldn’t be whining so much about the books, but HOT THORIN IS MY KING AND NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL CHANGE THAT. Sorry that got heated.

silver price once again tries too hard to pretend he’s people by rambling about something just slightly off-topic:

‘Return of the King’ is the most enjoyable because in the structure of the movies, it is nothing other than pay-off, there is no more setting up to do, no more exposition, no more introducing characters. The pay-off is very character-based. It is action-orientated as well, but all of our characters have been pushed to a point where their life and death depends on what happens in the third movie. It is very emotional, and from an actors point of view it is very enjoyable to work on, because they were able to play some pretty intense drama. From my point of view it was always great, because we were heading toward an ending, a climax which we never had in the other two.

I agree with you, silver price, although Return of the King had the one drawback of finally turning Viggo Mortensen’s permastubble into a full-fledged beard, an act I can never forgive. I still mourn for you, dirty, stubbly Aragorn. Where did you go?

When I asked Can You See This:

Nacci responded:

Death thru Adams sin is not punishment it is simply the result. Thru free will then we have to the choiceď to accept or refuse Gods free offer of salvation. God is allowing lucifer to run his best game plan so he can defeat him “honorably” Punishment follows. If there were no death what would we have? Were there no reward or punishment, what would justify anything? I simply try to follow Christ and not fry my brain trying to figure out all the deep secrets of God. We will know one day.

Nacci, are you saying that I should stop trying to fix my Internet because it’s one of the “deep secrets of God”? So was replacing my wireless card like opening the Ark of the Covenant? Why is my face still unmelted? Maybe you’ll say that Indiana Jones isn’t religious canon, but to that I would respond that I can’t take life advice from anyone who doesn’t know what an apostrophe is.

And, weirdest comment of the month goes to jackets on my 2012 Booklist: The Good post:

The testicles remain, so unlike a castrated ram the teaser ram still produces male hormones. He acts and reacts like a normal ram. Ugh. The builders obviously went way past the inherent limits of their building algorithms.. People who buy used clothing online usually look for designer items first. Familiarize yourself with the going rates of both brand new and used designer goods.

I don’t even know what to say, jackets.

Thanks for a great year, spambots! See you in 2013!

Previously: November

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