Steven and I are moving again! Pictures and a bullet-point breakdown of the pros and cons of our new place later! Right now I am too busy boxing up all of our stuff and eating weird meals that use up the food we have. Like this strange soup thing Steven made on Sunday:
He called it chili but I don’t think so
It was like… chicken, potatoes, hominy, black-eyed peas, green chilies, onion… I don’t know, it was pretty good, but also sort of strange.
Anyway, while packing up all my files, I found some exciting pieces of paper that I have, for some reason, been saving:
Oh, Professor Derrick, how are you real?
This is a paper I wrote for English 300, which was one of the few classes required by my major. It involved interviewing Rob for his juicy season-spanning knowledge and then watching a lot of clips of America’s Next Top Model on youtube. Here’s probably my favorite part:
For this reason, each season “the bitchy girl” always seems to avoid being eliminated for longer than one would have thought possible, just to maintain the level of stress and drama between the contestants. Much of this, obviously, is the editing job done after the show has been taped. For instance, in the current cycle… Monique was surprisingly quickly voted off, but, as one experienced viewer described the situation, “a bitch-vacuum was created and a new bitch was forced to emerge tot take her place, and that bitch was Melrose.”13
And, if you even have to ask, that footnote says:
13 Rob McAuliffe, American’s Next Top Model expert and avid reality television viewer
I’m sure Rob was only too excited to be featured in my bibliography. Needless to say, I got an A on this paper. And wrote Professor Derrick the most eloquent course evaluation ever.
Also squirreled away with some old Threshers reviewing my one acts badly were the original course information sheets from my student taught course, WIESS 101: Zombies in Fiction and Film. Rice has been referencing this on its latest give-us-money mailers, which is sad because it’s been five years, and you’d think in all that time another student taught course would manage to be at least as exciting, but whatever. That’s not what we’re talking about right now:
Of course that last one is Josh Langsfeld. You probably already guessed.
Here are some other highlights:
What is your past experience with zombies?
2 words: zombie. babies.–James Fox
One time I attacked Patricia pretending to be a zombie–Rachel
Why did you sign up for this course?
I feel the defensive techniques may be applicable to Baker 13–Roque
Distribution credit–Rob
How useful would you be in case of a zombie attack?
I keep a fully loaded shotgun on my person at all times. If that’s not useful I don’t know what is.–Joe Dwyer
On a scale of 1 to 10, about a 9. However, I would need to be convinced I was actually fighting zombies. Once that happened, I would be a merciless killer.–Josh Langsfeld