VIQVI: Responding to Spam

This week on Vitally Important Questions of Vital Importance, I’ve decided to look to the only comments folder that’s consistently full on my blog, the one reserved for spam. Or what my blog thinks is spam. Oh, sure, some of these are just lists of links trying to sell me pirated software or SEO packages or whatever, but others seem to be genuinely reaching out to me. I’m sorry you got filtered into my spam folder, sincere if confused commenters! So I will spend this entry trying to answer your queries personally in any way I can.

Easy Content Services writes:

Hello Website Owner! I found your blog on Google and I really like it. My team provides professional article writing, and we are able to do it for $0.01 per word – that’s $5 for a 500 word article. All of our writers are based in the United States, and all of our articles passes the Copyscape test. If you are interested in using our service, or simply want to give us a try, please check out website out

Hello, Easy Content Services! It sounds like you have a completely legitimate operation going on here, but I’m not convinced your team will be able to watch Sam Neill movies with the dedication and care I require, so I will be respectfully declining your offer.

What is castor oil made from writes:

I really enjoy this template youve got going on on your site. What is the name of the theme by the way? I was thinking of using this style for the web site I am going to make for my school project.

Thanks, What is castor oil made from! I’m glad you like it! It’s called “Steven Wiggins is long suffering”.

Lady Bussone writes:

Hi there, every time i used to check website posts here in the early hours in the daylight, because i enjoy to find out more and more.

Wow! I’m so honored that a member of the landed gentry is reading my blog! I’m not surprised you can only find the time to do it in the early hours of daylight; you’re probably super busy waving from carriages and keeping peasant revolts down.

How To Get Rid of a Sore Throat writes about my post reviewing Goddess Girls: Athena the Brain:

My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome weblog!

I’m so glad both you and your spouse are so interested in tween fiction! I guess if you wanted to both review a tween version of The Poetic Edda or something I would be okay with that! Send it to me when you’re done!

Tasha Thompson writes about this Sam Neill post:

I have been surfing on-line greater than three hours lately, but I by no means discovered any interesting article like yours. It is pretty value sufficient for me. Personally, if all website owners and bloggers made good content as you probably did, the web will likely be much more helpful than ever before.

I know what you mean, Tasha! It seems like most of the rest of the Internet is completely ignoring Sam Neill for some reason! I’m glad you found my review helpful, I assume in impressing people at parties with your vast knowledge of different Sam Neill movies.

Devis Cumulus writes about this post of pictures from my camera:

An fascinating dialogue is worth comment. I think that you need to write extra on this matter, it might not be a taboo topic but typically individuals are not enough to talk on such topics. To the next. Cheers

You’re right, Devis! Why are individuals not talking more about My Little Pony embroidery or rugs or cakes that clarify that you are in fact da man?? What has our society come to??

17 Knicks writes:

Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

Wow, 17 Knicks! I can see why you wanted to share with someone! I too often find my guilt eating away at me Lady Macbeth style until I’m forced to come clean, even just to a stranger on a blog post about the Rice Annual Fund. You knew that shell had a hermit crab in it, didn’t you? I mean, they’re pretty heavy and obvious–you were clearly hoping it would attack your daughter, maybe subconsciously. That’s not the answer to your crushing loneliness and frustration with life as a stay at home mom, 17 Knicks. I hope that you will seek the help you need.

Arvilla Hatherly writes about this Sam Neill post:

I do like the way you have framed this challenge and it really does supply us a lot of fodder for thought. Nonetheless, because of just what I have observed, I basically hope as other commentary pile on that people today continue to be on point and in no way get started upon a soap box of some other news du jour. Yet, thank you for this exceptional piece and although I do not concur with it in totality, I respect your point of view.

Thanks for being respectful even if we don’t agree, Arvilla! It’s okay if you actually liked Alcatraz and weren’t as excited to see Moaning Myrtle in a different context. I too am so annoyed when people use my blog just to comment on the news du jour! This is NOT what the Sam Neill marathon is about, you guys! I’m looking at you, 17 Knicks! Arvilla doesn’t want some soap box in the comments either, maybe about the original Doctor Zhivago, BRIAN. Arvilla is calling you out.

Dovie Number writes about that same Sam Neill update:

had to cry over that blog post it was of superior quality. who could ask for anything more?

I guess it was only a matter of time before one of my Sam Neill updates made someone cry over how great they are. I always just assumed it would be Sam Neill himself, but there’s still time for that. Thanks for the tears, Dovie!

I can’t believe I’ve been basically ignoring my spam folder for so long! Clearly it is just full of compliments!! I feel great! Thanks, Spam!

4 responses to “VIQVI: Responding to Spam”

  1. Uncle Bill says:


    Am I not “spam-worthy”?

    : (

    Note to self:

    Work on broken English.

  2. mom ladd says:

    Oh My GOD! I laughed so long, I cried. Thanks Trish!

  3. Shaniqua says:

    The sarcasm in this post is just frightening. You should probably seek professional help.

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