Vitally Important Questions of Vital Importance Round 2

After the wild success of my first venture into the realm of advice columnist, I’ve decided to continue blessing you with more of my wisdom.

My next question comes to me from Roque S. of The White House. Roque writes:

Is every meal you eat in North Carolina in the form of a cupcake?

This is what I had for lunch yesterday.

So, yes.

Sydney Greenstreet of Topeka writes:

Now that Netflix is dividing into two, how will the Sam Neill Netflix Marathon proceed??

NEVER FEAR, Sydney, the Sam Neill Netflix marathon will persevere through ANY obstacle! Neither snow nor wind nor silly name changes will stay me in my quest to gently mock every Sam Neill movie in existence on Netflix/Qwikster/whatever. Also, that’s not even happening anymore, so we’re fine. Check back later today for another exciting update!

And lastly we have two questions from “Lonely in Carrboro” who writes:

So, there’s this girl… and I see her downstairs sometimes. How do I tell if she likes me? Second question is the same, substituting puppy for girl.

The only sure way of discovering if a girl likes you or not is passing her a note saying “Do you like me? Circle one: Yes No Maybe”. Thousands of years of evolution have perfected our human courtship ritual into this single efficient and wondrous act. Unfortunately, puppies can’t read, so for that you are just going to have to take a shower in bacon.

You’re welcome!

One response to “Vitally Important Questions of Vital Importance Round 2”

  1. Roque says:

    You need some mashed potato frosting on that cupcake!

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