Misguided Travel Guides: Roanoke and the Outer Banks

Over the past weekend I searched tirelessly for clues that might solve the mystery of the Lost Colony of Roanoke. I’m pleased to say that I am once again successful. Honestly, if people would just put me on the case they could saved themselves centuries of doubt.

The first place we looked was Jockey’s Ridge State Park, home to one hang gliding school and one giant sand dune. The signs all said it was easy to get lost there, so I figured the colonists could easily be wandering around in the sand.
roanoke-1

roanoke-2

It was kind of like that time we went to White Sands. You know, except not HORRIBLE. JOSH. Sorry, I’m still maybe not over the whole losing my keys incident.

My first idea was to follow some tracks in the sand:

Using my Harriet the Spy sleuth skills, I can tell you these tracks were made by 16th century shoes!

Using my Harriet the Spy sleuth skills, I can tell you these tracks were made by 16th century shoes!

Steven, naturally, was skeptical.

"Who cares about colonists? Why can't we go to Sonic? I hate being in natural light."

"Who cares about colonists? Why can't we go to Sonic? I hate being in natural light."

So I once again had to encourage him onward.

"Steven Matthew Wiggins, do NOT make me come over there. We are RESCUING THOSE COLONISTS and that's FINAL."

"Steven Matthew Wiggins, do NOT make me come over there. We are RESCUING THOSE COLONISTS and that's FINAL."

When we got to the top of the giant sand dune, it was really quite windy.

Probably why the lost colonists did not simply climb on top to look for the way home.

Probably why the lost colonists did not simply climb on top to look for the way home.

Everyone knows colonists are afraid of wind.

BUT THEN, in the distance:

Hark! The Lost Colonists! They have somehow acquired backpacks among the sands!

Hark! The Lost Colonists! They have somehow acquired backpacks among the sands!

"Hey! You guys! We've totally been looking for you for like hundreds of years!!"

"Hey! You guys! We've totally been looking for you for like hundreds of years!!"

"Yeah, we're kind of busy right now filming a movie or shooting a backpack commercial or something. Catch you later!"

"Yeah, we're kind of busy right now filming a movie or shooting a backpack commercial or something. Catch you later!"

"Okay, ttyl! Call me!"

"Okay, ttyl! Call me!"

CASE CLOSED. At the first place I looked. Seriously, I am ace at this solving historical mysteries thing. Look out, Stonehenge, you’re next.

To celebrate, we climbed this lighthouse:

Currituck!

Currituck!

So many stairs right now!

So many stairs right now!

Me: Looking for more colonists I can save

Me: Looking for more colonists I can save

Steven: Auditioning for a shampoo commercial for some reason.

Steven: Auditioning for a shampoo commercial for some reason.

“He’s got the urge to Herbal! On Currituck Lighthouse!” That is definitely going to be Herbal Essences new slogan. Just you wait.

4 responses to “Misguided Travel Guides: Roanoke and the Outer Banks”

  1. Steven says:

    Why yes, I DO have the urge to Herbal!

  2. Mom Ladd says:

    Love the Pictures and Uncle Bill’s comment.

  3. Jeanette says:

    Glad to see the pic’s. So you found the colonists,great! The question is, do they have the proper documentation?

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