Times I Have Almost Died: Swine Flu

I hesitantly include this as a time I’ve almost died since it is definitely less serious than others in this category, like the time I read the fourth Twilight book. I wouldn’t have even bothered going to the doctor at all if campus weren’t plastered with flyers saying “If you have ANY TWO of these symptoms come to health services IMMEDIATELY”. And it’s not like Rice health services, either, where they’re never open and they prescribe allergy medicine for every ailment. It’s a legit hospital. I had to park in a parking garage and walk across a skyway to get there.

While I was there, I got to wear a stylish mask, and everyone kept assuring me that Everything Is Going To Be Okay. Apparently the top half of my face always looks really worried, because in reality I am way less scared of swine flu than I am of Japanese Spider Crabs. They told me I either had a mild case or was “incubating it” and would feel even worse later. They gave me pamphlets. I got to keep the mask.

Doctor: Do you need proof that you were here?
Me: Ummm… what? Like for insurance?
Doctor: You’re a grad student so probably not. Most of the undergrads are afraid their professors will think they’re lying.
Me: No, my professors seem pretty understanding.
Doctor: Well, you’re a grad student; you’re more mature.

LULZ! Joke’s on her! Although judging from the vapid conversations I’m forced to listen to daily on the bus, she’s probably right.

Anyway, after sleeping for fourteen hours, I feel much better! Take that swine flu! Although still coughing like a chain-smoking asthmatic.

3 responses to “Times I Have Almost Died: Swine Flu”

  1. Uncle Bill says:

    Love the tags! If you say them in order with a Tennessee drawl it comes out like the title to a crappy “B” movie. Coming soon to a theater near you – Death Race: Swine Flu (starring David Carradine!)

    I hope you feel better soon. Use this opportunity to make Steven wait on you hand and foot, and to practice your ninja waffle skills.

  2. Steven says:

    Your mask is definitely stylish, no question. Although I’m definitely glad you don’t have to wear it all the time. I’m so glad I’ll be back tomorrow. My hand-and-foot-waiting skills are getting tarnished.

  3. Erika says:

    haha, Actually a lot of people at Rice have it right now, and Rice is telling people not to worry….because everyone’s been getting over it in 1 to seven days….like the normal flu. And because Rice is right next to my med school….I got it too…and I honestly thought I just had bad allergies…..

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