The Animated Adventures of William Marsh Rice

Today, for various reasons out of my control and in disregard of my endlessly voiced opinions to the contrary, I got a class ring. Despite the extravagance and the entirely false appearance of class and/or institutional pride, it does have two pluses on its side:

1. It intimidates my engagement ring, which was becoming too full of itself anyway and
2. It allows me to dramatically throw my hand in the air and summon William Marsh Rice, university founder and World’s Most Powerful Cyborg at will.

This image of William Marsh Rice brought to you by the True History of William Marsh Rice Campaign.

This image of William Marsh Rice brought to you by the True History of William Marsh Rice Campaign and the Woodson Research Center.

I haven’t tried it yet, but youtube research (my favorite kind of research) suggests this is true. Observe:

Legend has it that, instead of shouting the names of elements to a catchy 80s beat, ring bearers must shout the names of each of the nine colleges. Only then will William Marsh Rice appear in the university’s hour of greatest need.

In reality, you’d probably be much better off shouting the brand names of the finest single malt Scotches, and then running away, because when WMR appears and sees that you don’t actually have any, he is going to be pissed off. Although less ideological, this power can still be used as an effective weapon since Rice will inevitably take revenge by smashing anything in a one-mile radius with his own head. Which is why I can’t prove this to you with things like pictures since I’m pretty sure it would void my lease.

THE POWER IS YOURS!!

On a totally unrelated note,

I am now completely obsessed with these tatertots:

Look how happy they are to be tatertots!!!

Look how happy they are to be tatertots!!!

Here I used them in a casserole. Later we ate the leftovers with ketchup. They are actually incredibly scary when covered in ketchup, like they’ve just been feasting on the flesh of the living. I’m just saying.

Also, I’ve been up for like 36 hours. Can you tell?

2 responses to “The Animated Adventures of William Marsh Rice”

  1. Bova says:

    AHHHH smiley face french fries!!!! We had those all the time at Belvoir! So good! Also, they had ones shaped like the sun, moon and stars! (I called that variety the celestial body fries.) Where did you get them?

    • pladd says:

      The freezer section at Harris Teeter. They could have them at other grocery stores too. I will look for the celestial body ones next time!

Site and contents are © 2009-2024 Patricia Ladd, all rights reserved. | Admin Login | Design by Steven Wiggins.