The Road Trip: LIGHTNING ROUND!

Just when you thought it was over!

In the previous month of this competition, the competitors had to work together as a team to beat the clock–or, I guess, the calendar–and the fuel gauge, using up as little resources to see as much of the country as possible. Although they admitted defeat somewhere in the Midwest 8000 miles was enough to qualify them for The Lightning Round! [insert thunder sound effect]. In this round, competitors will be PITTED AGAINST EACH OTHER in a no-holds-barred, anything-goes, wash-and-wear all out race to the finish line, Carrboro, North Carolina, “the Paris of the Piedmont”, and home to the Invisible University of North Carolina, according to Wikipedia and the University’s self-proclaimed king. Unfortunately, I have to take the bus to Chapel Hill and attend the boring, visible University of North Carolina there in the fall.

Although this leg of the race is significantly shorter than the previous rounds, it’s still nothing to scoff at, especially since each competitor will be traveling a DIFFERENT ROUTE:

The Patricia Ladd and Trixie Route: 766 Miles of Grueling Interstate, 12 hours and 56 minutes of fighting for control of the stereo

The Patricia Ladd and Trixie Route: 766 Miles of Grueling Interstate, 12 hours and 56 minutes of fighting for control of the stereo

PLadd and Trixie, deciding to team up temporarily for their mutual benefit, have elected to take the North bound route through Orlando, Jacksonville, and Savannah, staying the night with relatives near Charleston, SC. This ploy, though saving on expense, costs more time and significantly lessens the sketch factor, making it a risky move in what is already a tight competition. The team is confident that they will arrive first, driving the short three to four hours to Carrboro in the morning.

Interviewer: It’s a gutsy move, teaming up with your competitor. Do you think that will increase tension along the way?
PLadd: Definitely. We both want to win this, but quickly realized that neither of us stood a chance of beating SWiggins alone. For one thing, I would be walking. For another thing, Trixie is speedy but has no sense of direction. Hopefully we will be able to cooperate until the last possible moment and not end up parting ways somewhere unfortunate in the wastes of South Carolina.
Trixie: Beep Beep
[Translation: I’m running you over at the North Carolina welcome center]

Steven's Route: 1179 miles through the redneck homeland and 18 hours and 14 minutes spent looking for the next Sonic

Steven's Route: 1179 miles through the redneck homeland and 18 hours and 14 minutes spent looking for the next Sonic

Steven Wiggins, on the other hand, is going it alone, not that he has much of a choice since the other two competitors have decided to team up against him. Though his chosen route is longer and more time, Steven has the hidden advantage of new and exciting book tapes that I made for him, recording myself reading You Slay Me, Kate MacAllister’s classic tale of clutzy-courier-in-Paris-meets-shape-shifting-dragon. Somehow, it’s even worse than it sounds.

It’s a wildly unfair race to the finish to determine WHO will be the winner of The Road Trip. Will it be Steven, the Sonic-propelled driving juggernaut with a rickety Ford Escort full of musical instruments or Patricia, the charismatic and modest adventurer who can actually read a map, OR Trixie, the sassy Volkswagen flirt with a penchant for wet windshield contests, “gunning it”, and The A-Teens.

Road Trip: THE LIGHTNING ROUND! Coming to a blog near you July 15th.

2 responses to “The Road Trip: LIGHTNING ROUND!”

  1. Steven says:

    Oh, just you wait! In the spirit of fair competition, I have just replaced Patches’ windshield wipers and also battery, thus transforming us into a fast-starting, rain-defying LIGHTNING BOLT!

  2. FACT: Racing makes EVERYTHING more exciting!

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