So sometime around Minnesota Steven and I decided to cut short our–admittedly kind of ambitious–road trip. Here are the reasons:
1. Due to either the massive amounts of cottonwood pollen or possibly just fatigue, both of us are sick.
2. Tiredness
3. I’m sick of driving for eight hours every day
4. Steven’s sick of waking up early
5. I’m almost positive I’m dying of malnutrition
6. Trixie is starting to become really whiny and picking angry bagpipe songs on my iPod just to annoy me
7. We only have one Kresley Cole romance novel left to read
8. We’re almost out of money
It is not, as Trixie would have you believe, because we didn’t think anything could top Minneapolis. Syracuse, I’m sure, would have blown that carousel out of the water. I called Rob on his birthday to break the news. He said he was surprised we’d made it this far. I’m glad I inspire such confidence.
The plan was to drive South to Tennessee where, among other things, there are free relatives houses to stay at, and then to Florida. I assume Steven will make us stop to see the Coke museum in Atlanta as well.
You guys def aren’t failures, you went to more states than I will in my whole life probs. Just today I tried to go to the backyard and collapsed under the stress of such a long journey, so I gotta give you guys props!
You should have established base camp in the kitchen and continued on the next day! That’s what I always do.
Also, Twitter is everything you ever said it would be! I’m sorry I ever doubted you.
You are not failures at all!!! The goal was to have an epic roadtrip and you totally did!!
And I just want to add I’m glad you know your boundaries and chose not to push yourselves to continue and then become HOMICIDAL MANIACS on the road.
Well done, Patricia and Steven.
Thanks, Bova. My goal for the trip was not to become a homicidal road maniac so we’re doing well.
Good job making it most of the way around the U.S. I am, however, forced to agree that this means you a totally failed.
On the plus side it also means there’s some of the contiguous United States left to explore if you ever decide to to go on Road Trip Part Deux: THE LADDENING.