Random Scenes from My Future

This week I had dinner with Laura Campo, Wiess ’08 and Tabletop Producer my freshman year. It was great, but also kind of surreal. Beforehand I was worried that it would be somehow awkward: how do you have a real conversation with someone with whom you’ve only exchanged pleasantries and facebook banter? Apparently, really easily. It made me hope that other random people who have seemingly dropped out of the story of my life will appear unexpectedly in my future. I can’t wait to see what that will be like! But now, thanks to the power of MS Paint, I don’t have to! Huzzah!

Ben Skerritt (my 2nd grade crush) and I Meet at a Concert

I assume he will still look just like this yearbook picture I found

I assume he will still look just like this yearbook picture I found

He recognizes me by… my Pippi Longstocking hair.
I recognize him by… the way he gives people the finger without really knowing what it means.
All I really remember about Ben Skerritt are some vague sledding memories on Snow Days and, when saying goodbye because I was moving to Florida, he flicked me off and then said “Shhhhh! It means something dirty!” before running into the bushes behind the basketball court. Ah, young love. Naturally, this will make coming up with topics of conversation difficult after the “So… how have the last 15 years of your life been?”

Jane Chance and I are on the same white water rafting trip!

I assume she will wear her life vest as provocatively as possible

I assume she will wear her life vest as provocatively as possible

She recognizes me by… my ability to play Minesweeper through all relevant information and yet still somehow be great at rafting
I recognize her by… her inappropriate suicide stories and her abortive attempts to speak Welsh.

The Rice Phils and I attend Oktoberfest!

In the future I assume I'll also know how to play the accordian

In the future I assume I'll also know how to play the accordion

They’ll recognize me because… I’m the one screaming “MY HUMPS!!!!!” whenever they ask for requests.
I’ll recognize them because… they won’t stop singing that stupid fucking “Africa” song.

Though I assume Future Patricia will still find them incredibly annoying, I’m sure we can patch up our differences over giant pretzels.

Charles Lena and I have jobs at the same Starbucks!

This is actually the one I'm most looking forward to. Look how much fun we'll be having!

This is actually the one I'm most looking forward to. Look how much fun we'll be having!

He recognizes me by… my constant attempts to cheer him up.
I recognize him by… his loafers and crushing pessimism.
Naturally Charles will get a job at Starbucks after he loses everything on Wall Street. Naturally I will get a job at Starbucks when all libraries are digitized and available on google. It’ll be like a heavily-caffeinated The Odd Couple! Maybe we’ll solve mysteries or fight crime. Or defend our Starbucks against zombie attack.

3 responses to “Random Scenes from My Future”

  1. Steven says:

    That’s actually highly likely. Even zombies crave the sweet sultry goodness of rich caffeine. Or Patricia. Either way.

  2. So the Phils are going to get attacked by a drunken lederhosen-clad giant?

    BEST FUTURE POSSIBLE.

  3. Campo says:

    Yesss! Made it into Patricia’s blog! I had a great time hanging out with you and Eric the other night. Good luck at UNC and hope our paths cross again soon!

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