Hopefully by the time you read this, I’ll already be on I-10, rocking out to my playlist composed of every song on my iPod that contains the words “road”, “highway”, or some kind of place name. I’m not sure what this means for my “WITHOUT FAIL” updating; with any luck, I’ll be updating more, reporting on the day’s adventures, but that largely depends on our ability to find The Internets. Luckily, Steven Wiggins can sniff out free wireless like Jeremy Caves can recognize a non-biodegradable cup from thirty yards. The itinerary remains comfortably vague, a welcome change from my militarized childhood vacations, but here are the concrete deets I have.
The Travelers
Bringing The Fierce across America
Name: Patricia “the Spastic One” Ladd
Favorite Driving Pastime: Reading trashy romance novels aloud in a variety of silly voices
Packing Strategy: “I don’t own enough shorts…. I’ll just cut the legs off all my pants. While wearing them.”
Most looking forward to: Interviewing Waffle House waitresses everywhere
Favorite Road Food: Did I not just say Waffle House?
Preferred Driving Tuneses: Anything I can scream along to… Bonnie Tyler is favorite.
Even Less Fierce Than He Looks
Name: Steven “the Emo One” Wiggins
Favorite Driving Pastime: Staring Moodily Off into the Distance
Packing Strategy: “Fourteen pairs of socks aren’t enough for a month long trip… I’ll have to sacrifice all of my shirts to make room…”
Most Looking Forward To: Proving definitively that everything is bigger in Texas
Favorite Road Food: Mountain Dew or Cracker Barrel
Favorite Driving Tuneses: Symphonic Metal
The real Trixie has never seen snow
Name: Trixie “the Flirty One” Volkswagen
Favorite Driving Pastime: Wet Windshield Contests
Packing Strategy: Hatchbackin’ it.
Most Looking Forward To: Shamelessly flirting with every sporty convertible
Favorite Road Food: Tasty, tasty regular unleaded
Favorite Driving Tuneses: Boy bands.
Expect book reviews of trashy romance novels, excerpts from our documentary, and Misguided Travel Guides of the World’s Largest [insert vegetable/household object]. And UNTOLD EXCITEMENT!
Kisses,
Patricia
oh oh! when you go to minneapolis, make sure to go to the sculpture gardens – they have a humongous spoon & cherry! for no apparent reason! it’s great.
Finally, a way to experience all the fun of seeing the world’s largest celebrity-shaped-pumpkin patch with none of the hassle of getting horribly horribly lost and eventually resorting to cannibalism in order to survive while looking for it!