The Plaid Pladd

This is Roque’s mountain:

Towering above Albuquerque like a sleeping giant

It’s actually Sandia Peak (or something–I promptly lost the brochure, like everything else on this trip), but Roque used to work for the Forest Service there. My actual first memory of Roque is very distinct (and is relevant): we were standing in line by the soda machine in the Servery during O-Week and he told me that “Most people know Smoky the Bear, but very few know about his friend, Woodsy the Owl”. Actually, now that I think about it, that could be my first memory of Jeremy. Damn you, Albuquerquians and your mutual interests! In any case, I know for a FACT that Roque once told me a vaguely naughty story involving Woodsy the Owl. Anyway, he worked there and talks about forestry sometimes so they are linked in my mind. The two times I have visited I always conscientiously text him from the top to tell him I’m spreading rumors about him amongst his ex-co-workers. He’s never once replied.

Anyway, the big deal about this mountain, besides its Wiess-associations, is how you get to the top:

Like at Disney World, but without the annoying theme music!

It’s some world-record setting tramway. The largest single cable tramway in the world? The longest single span on a tramway in the world? The most overpriced tramway in the world? (Seriously, $17.50 a person, Roque? Really?). I would suggest hiking one way and taking the tram the other, except the hike is liable to take 4-8 hours (I asked after looking at the prices).  Also, it’s mad windy at the top. Most of the many pictures Steven took involve unfortunate hair for everyone. If you’ve ever been around Steven at some kind of event or interesting place, you know that he has a peculiar nervous twitch that involves CONSTANTLY TAKING PICTURES TO THE DETRIMENT OF HIMSELF AND OTHERS.

For instance, as we were walking down one of the hiking trails bordering a rather dramatic drop off the mountain his insistance at documenting every tree, bird, rock, and dramatic vista nearly lost him his footing a grand total of 34 times.

"OMGOD, Steven, Stop taking pictures of me and watch where you put your feet!"

Finally, my exasperation became too much and I was forced to finish the job that he started…

BY PUSHING HIM OFF THE MOUNTAIN!

What lense do you need to capture YOUR DRAMATIC PLUMMET THOUSANDS OF FEET, Steven? WAH HA HA.

Anyway, hiking trails: kind of cool. Tramway: Super cool. Things to take up with Roque: high prices, annoying tourists who want to talk to you about their vacation of Barack Obama sites ad nauseum. I just pushed my fiance off a mountain, overweight, balding Guy From Michigan. I am just not in the mood.