The Hoedown Throwdown Showdown

So this weekend I was convinced by THE 434 (plus Rob, but I think that’s understood) that my only real goal in life until that moment was to see The Hannah Montana Movie with them. Instead of the predictable, trite mess I was expecting, it was fairly entertaining, mostly because people kept randomly falling down (hilarious!) and many of the bemusing subplots weren’t explained at all, such as the scenes when her older brother is inexplicably working as a zookeeper/alligator wrestler. But, as one of my requirements of movies is that someone be attacked by an ostrich, this made me happy.

As you can glean from the previews, the plot involves Miley Cyrus returning to her grandmother’s house in small town Tennessee to reconnect with her roots, find a hot guy, and rediscover who she truly is inside. Rob kept turning to me and asking, “Is that what Tennessee REALLY looks like?” and I would say “Yes, actually, that’s EXACTLY what Tennessee looks like” in a startled way, because I visited my grandparents every summer as a child in Columbia, Tennessee, which claims to be the Mule Capital of the World. It was only later that I discovered that Miley Cyrus’ fictional small town looked eerily accurate because IT WAS FILMED IN COLUMBIA, TENNESSEE:

The most exciting thing to come out of Columbia since James K. Polk

The most exciting thing to come out of Columbia since James K. Polk

Naturally I began to suspect that I am, in fact, Hannah Montana in disguise.

Another main selling point to this movie (besides the fact that it is an autobiography of me) is the scene in which Hannah teaches everyone to do a dance called The Hoedown Throwdown which we naturally youtubed upon returning home to perfect our skillz. At the end of the tutorial Miley Cyrus challenged us to a DANCE OFF and we decided that, for the glory of Wiess, we had to accept. Also that it would go great with the college night theme already (as in the tradition of last year’s seniors, THE 434 always invents its own college night theme which this semester is “Dirty Sparkly College Night: From Miley to Hannah”, just fyi). So we did what we always do in times of need: abuse the list serv.

Subject: [TFW] Hoedown Throwdown
BREAKING NEWS: Having just returned from the Hannah Montana movie, THE 434+Rob has an
important announcement. Hannah Montana has challenged us to a dance fight. For the glory
of Wiess, we must accept!

Here are your instructions:
1) Learn the Hoedown Throwdown: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj3OqMzNin4
2) Meet in the acabowl at 5pm on Friday
3) DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE!!!
4) Send footage to Hannah Montage to show her what’s up

TFW,
THE 434+Rob

This was actually handy because it took care of The List #81 Lose List Serv Access for Rob, which I changed from “Lose Newsletter Job” after that happened on its own. In case you are wondering, we still have 42 more things left to do (out of 100), but at least three more will be done by next week and I’ll have more time during exams. You can’t say we’re not motivated.

We rented a camera from the DMC to film this dance and everything, but I was positive only THE 434 would show up. However, Dr. Gustin came up to me at lunch yesterday and told me he thought I was a bad influence on freshmen because they were talking about “learning some Hannah Montana dance” instead of doing work this week. He said they shouldn’t listen to me because I am a shiftless senior, and I tried to convince him that he should learn The Hoedown Throwdown too. I have hope that he’ll show up on Friday with a Hannah Montana wig. AS SHOULD YOU ALL.

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